don't understand a man

[morning light]

Hello everyone! to describe shortly the situation: there is a man, we r not really friends but kind of... we met couple of times during the working meetings and events. we will see each other again in 1 month. we chat in FB from time to time. and actually there is a problem. sometimes we start conversation (sometimes he starts, sometimes I do) and then we have a nice chat, and it looks like he's interested, he writes that he's looking forward to c me, he asks questions, offers me help (about work) etc. And then I answer on one or another question and he... disappears... Then he writes again (or I start, mainly about work) and then we have again quite exciting conversation, and then he disappears again.. he is interesting for me as a friend, he's nice, he has a lot of experience at work, its really interesting to talk to him. I'd like to c him again, to talk to him, ask him for an advice. by the way i'm married, and he knows about it. however when we met he tried to flirt a bit. i try to understand why he's doing it, why he disappears from time to time and then appears again.. whats wrong? thanks in advance for your answers!

[mwahahaha]

Sounds like youre after a bit of extra marital exciitement and you think this scarlet pimpernel is the answer. This character wants what all men want. A no strings fling with a tidy married piece.

The problem here is a common one with lots of men. They meet a girl and and dont know how to close the deal. Heres what you do. Put all your cards on the table and tell him to stop arseing about. He needs to know you are game because he sounds like your typical facebook willy boy whos only ever seen his mother naked.

In summary, you can do better....

[morning light]

well, i can imagine that he wants an "no strings attached" affair, but why doesnt he try anything to get it? he disappears and thus makes our "relations" worse.. in any case he wont get this affair (or whatsoever like this he wants). i'm really curious what he wants..

sorry i didnt get "you can do better"- what do you mean?

[redmagnum]

If you're married......and you want to have sex with other men......GET A DIVORCE!!!!

Even as a guy, I hate it when married women try to screw around........they claim they are "unhappily married"...........and their husband screws around on them.......again get a friggin divorce then!

I am single, no ring on my finger, but I would never mess with a married woman..........

[Mathias]

Fix your marriage and stop talking to the guy.

Don't want to fix your marriage? That's cool too. Get a divorce. Then come back to us and ask about this guy.

[morning light]

guys, didnt you make any effort to read my posts? its clearly written that I DO NOT want any affair with this guy, only friendship and communication for work. And my marriage has nothing to do with this. I was just curious about his behavior. And I wanted an advice (explanation) from male point of view.

[MichealFiore]

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[Wakeup]

guys, didnt you make any effort to read my posts? its clearly written that I DO NOT want any affair with this guy, only friendship and communication for work. And my marriage has nothing to do with this. I was just curious about his behavior. And I wanted an advice (explanation) from male point of view.

This is why everyone thinks your marriage does have something to do with it and why you want to have some tickle tickle with this man:

I'd like to c him again, to talk to him, ask him for an advice. by the way i'm married, and he knows about it. however when we met he tried to flirt a bit.

If your marriage has nothing to do with this then why did you tell us you were married and that your friend knows you are married?

Friends don't talk every night to their other friends... They just chat for a second or two and then actually do what friends do together. This man is just someone from work who chats with you occasionally.

Why do you expect him to chat with you so often? I think you have a crush on him!

[Simon_ricci]

When something like this happens that means that he interested in you, but no so much.

[morning light]

Why do you expect him to chat with you so often? I think you have a crush on him!

I've already told that i like him only as a friend/colleague. I just want to understand the behavior. I've heard a lot from my friends and read on forums as well about similar situations. Normally if you chat with smbd you finish the chat with "bye bye / i have to go / cu / etc. etc.", but not just disappear in the middle of conversation... it's just politeness. am I not right?

[morning light]

When something like this happens that means that he interested in you, but no so much.

thanks for your opinion!

[Wakeup]

I've already told that i like him only as a friend/colleague. I just want to understand the behavior. I've heard a lot from my friends and read on forums as well about similar situations. Normally if you chat with smbd you finish the chat with "bye bye / i have to go / cu / etc. etc.", but not just disappear in the middle of conversation... it's just politeness. am I not right?

Oh, you mean he disappears during an actual conversation. The way you wrote in in your opening post made it sound like he talked to you and then disappeared for awhile before he contacted you again...

If he's disappearing during an actual conversation then yes, I would agree that that is rude and It would make me think that someone he has more value for then you has logged on or that he is married and his wife just walked into the room and he didn't want her to see him chatting or, he's just plain rude and I'd tell him to at least say bubye next time before he logged off. Then, if he does it again I would never speak to him after that.

[morning light]

yeah, sorry for my confusing post... and thanks for an advice. I definetely won't contact him myself first anymore, and we will c each other in 3 weeks, so I'll probably ask him, or probably will just let it go..