Insecurity or a true worry?

[Jenswaiting]

To clarify this is the text I received - I have been thinking and I'm not as into this 'relationship' as much as I thought. I do like you, but this is all I can offer. I guess I've been alone for too long. I am sorry.

It just seems so out of left field and cowardly. Would it really do any good if I confronted him directly? (I'm just so hurt!)

[pisces25]

Maybe you can suggest going slow? That way if he does have commitment issues it can go at a slower pace.

If it was me I would probably leave it but if you feel like you need closure then just ask him to clarify what he means.

It sux hun... am feeling for you.

[maxmax]

To clarify this is the text I received - I have been thinking and I'm not as into this 'relationship' as much as I thought. I do like you, but this is all I can offer. I guess I've been alone for too long. I am sorry.

It just seems so out of left field and cowardly. Would it really do any good if I confronted him directly? (I'm just so hurt!)

I would just leave it to be honest.

Confronting him wont changing anything, and it will only make you angry and more upset.

[Jenswaiting]

Thanks Pisces and Max. I'll leave it. Gonna stay away from dating for a while...

[jb1111983]

Sorry Jen. But like you said, this experience has taught you something valuable. And someday you'll be happy that it didn't work out with this guy because, trust me, he isn't the kind of guy you'd want to be with.

[pisces25]

I am staying away from dating for a while too. Shame we aren't geographically closer so we can do it together!!

[Jenswaiting]

No kidding Pisces! My problem is I don't have a lot of friends, as I've only been in this area for a year or so and I'm struggling to find ways to get out and meet people. I try to keep myself busy (yoga, working out, etc) but it would be better (at least getting over that jerk) if I had more friends to hang out with. Any brilliant suggestions folks?

[dan2k7]

I tend to find colleagues are closest to me, after school/uni friends but I guess there won't be any class mates if you have recently moved. Is there no hobbies or interests you could take up in the area? Usually a good way to meet new people

[oneandonly]

No kidding Pisces! My problem is I don't have a lot of friends, as I've only been in this area for a year or so and I'm struggling to find ways to get out and meet people. I try to keep myself busy (yoga, working out, etc) but it would be better (at least getting over that jerk) if I had more friends to hang out with. Any brilliant suggestions folks?

[url=http://www.meetup.com/]Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup[/url]

[bulrush]

it's only been "several" (how many is "several?") dates and he's talking about living together. WTF? That is a huge red flag right there. Don't you think you should have at least declared each other bf/gf and promised each other exclusivity before talking about living together?

I agree, big red flag. I can open my heart to women in 2 dates if we are a good match. I can TALK about living together after 2 dates too, but I don't actually do it until we've dated a year or more. Big difference between talking about it, and doing it.

As for passing time, find a hobby. Make jewelry and sell it on Etsy.com. Collect something. I work out, go hiking. I only have 2-3 dates a week, so I have time for other stuff. Write a how-to article and put it on Wikihow.com. Study a topic and learn something new. Like underwater archaology. How do they do all that?

[Jenswaiting]

I agree, big red flag. I can open my heart to women in 2 dates if we are a good match. I can TALK about living together after 2 dates too, but I don't actually do it until we've dated a year or more. Big difference between talking about it, and doing it.

Maybe it was a red flag I should have noticed and I'm not saying I wanted to move that fast - I'm not the type. However I responded to Wake up on the 19th with: "As for this stuff about living together, well it was never planned it was more like wouldn't it be nice sort of comments." Maybe there were other little things I missed that indicated he had issues with commitment, abandonment or whatever. All I can say about the experience is that I haven't had a man come on that strong before and we clicked very well. But all that is neither here nor there cause he wimped out.

As for passing time, find a hobby. Make jewelry and sell it on Etsy.com. Collect something. I work out, go hiking. I only have 2-3 dates a week, so I have time for other stuff. Write a how-to article and put it on Wikihow.com. Study a topic and learn something new. Like underwater archaology. How do they do all that?

Underwater archaology?? Damn that's a subject I never thought about. Thanks for this. I just joined a poetry forum that I plan on posting some of my work on to get some honest criticism. I've also got a Nutrition dip that I need to complete...and I must find a new job, preferably in London.

Thanks Oneandonly - I've just joined meetup and have found a couple of groups that look interesting.

Many thanks all.

[pisces25]

Not sure where you are in England but when I lived in Brighton for a while I was struggling to meet people so I joined a meet-up group that met once a week for drinks or board-games, that was always fun. They had posted on Gumtree. I also met a great chick from Gumtree that had posted an ad saying she was new in the area and needed some female buddies. We had great times together exploring the area and doing new things. Try posting on there or answering posts there should be plenty. It isn't as creepy as it sounds