Insecurity or a true worry?

[Jenswaiting]

So things have been going well in this new relationship, at least so far as I can tell. For the most part he's been really keen. He's been contacting me on a daily basis via text, sometimes I contact him first, but for the most part he does. We've had several dates and we've been getting a lot closer, both emotionally and physically, but we've yet to have sex. Now here's the thing, we had a great date at mine on Saturday and it got more intense. We have a couple of dates planned this week, however completely out of character, I have not heard from him since Sunday eve. I sent a text last night, but haven't recieved a response. This is worrying me a great deal as he was almost OOT last week, and we've never had a day where we don't talk via text. Despite the fact that I'm worried, I don't want to chase him nor do I want for him to feel that I'm not letting him have his space. However we planned to get together tomorrow eve at his and on Saturday he had said, well let's set up the date via text. So here I am...wondering what to do and how not to let this drive me nuts. Shouldn't I just text him this eve checking that we're okay for tomorrow or continue to wait him out?

Thanks.

[Yet another guy]

I don't want to chase him

Why not? Don't you want to seem interested? I'm sure he would appreciate it. Since you're worried, I'd contact him to check if the date is still on. I hope it all sorts out well

[mwahahaha]

This is easy. Sounds to me like things got a little too intimate for this bufty and hes shaking at the thought of finally scoring a goal, his first by the sounds of it.
As for the non reply of texts , ive written below a rough guide about time lengths of reply. hope this help.

Time waited since reply from date requesting text:
5 minutes: Possible on the toilet, doesnt have phone with him, thinking of reply.
20 minutes:Maybe outside with said phone, patience at this stage is key.
1 hour:Anxious time for most , but be strong, dont want to sound desperado.
5 hours:Crucail time for these situations, if no reply since this amount of time , its time to worry. Only a trip to the movies etc can explain such a time delay for reply.

[mwahahaha]

...........continued from above
10 hours:maybe hes sick, or him mum, dad, dog, (delete as approp..) are sick.
24 hours:hes probably gay and doesnt know how to tell you, just unlucky, move on.

hope this helps...

[maxmax]

Welcome to the club.

[devonbrown]

If you have the next date already planned and set, I would say try to go with it as planned. If he stands you up, you definitely know where you stand. If you were going to finalize the date through a text, I would say send him one more text (or, God forbid, call him) and ask him what the plans are. If he doesn't respond, move on.

It could be something as simple as his phone broke. Or maybe he has started getting serious with someone else. Or maybe he's in jail. Or maybe he had his texting thumbs broken by a bookie. At this point, you really don't know. Since things have gone well so far, I would say give him the benefit of the doubt, but don't be blind to potential red flags.

Good luck.

[Jenswaiting]

I'd be generally shocked and very hurt if this is over! It's been over 24 hours, but this guy has been so keen and has made comments about living together, that he's falling for me...hell we have plans for his birthday - I purchased tickets to a play in London. I feel like I'm hanging on a thread here folks. If you were keen on someone and stopped texting suddenly - wouldn't you think it's an illness or something like that? Or do I just sound desperate? I'm sure it's obvious, but I'm totally falling for him.

[maxmax]

If you were keen on someone and stopped texting suddenly - wouldn't you think it's an illness or something like that? Or do I just sound desperate?

It's tempting to think it may be a number of different reasons. From experience, more often than not there is one main reason: they aren't interested or have been scared away or reconsidered.

That being said, it could be anything, and he may well be in touch and all will be well. You'll just have to wait and see. Hopefully, all will be well. I am trying to tell myself the same thing.

If not, tell you what, if it doesn't work out for either of us, I'll take you out for a drink if your about in London ... but only if you'll promise to return my text/call even it's to tell me you're not interested :-/

[mwahahaha]

Oh no... a play in London. What have you done?
Which one? If its "Billy Elliot", the musical, i fear the end of this story.
Anyhoo, good luck with the waiting, unless he has a good excuse, ie, war, civil unrest, mummy took his phone off him, more than 24 hours is long if you are keen.
Balls in his court, leave it there......

[Wakeup]

I'd be generally shocked and very hurt if this is over! It's been over 24 hours, but this guy has been so keen and has made comments about living together, that he's falling for me...hell we have plans for his birthday - I purchased tickets to a play in London. I feel like I'm hanging on a thread here folks. If you were keen on someone and stopped texting suddenly - wouldn't you think it's an illness or something like that? Or do I just sound desperate? I'm sure it's obvious, but I'm totally falling for him.

it's only been "several" (how many is "several?") dates and he's talking about living together. WTF? That is a huge red flag right there. Don't you think you should have at least declared each other bf/gf and promised each other exclusivity before talking about living together?

Anyway, I think anyone in your position would be alarmed if someone suddenly faded away. CALL him on the phone and if he doesn't pck up then leave a voice mail. If he doesn't answer the voice mail then he's either in the hospital or he's done the disappearing act on you. If he does pick up the phone then he's on for the date.

If he doesn't respond and then suddenly reappears after some time had eslapsed., then be wary of him playing you.

P.s. Was that date at his place going to be the first time you were to his home?

[Jenswaiting]

Well I have my answer. He texted me originally to apologise that he left his phone at work and asked me how I was...but when I brought up the date he texted that he wasn't sure and that he was feeling rough. I really wasn't expecting that. In fact I so wasn't expecting it that I rang him. Yes I am an idiot. No answer. Stupidly enough I texted him to ask if everything was ok and that I was concerned and confused.

Up until now he never gave me reason to distrust him or to worry. He seemed like a great guy, easy to talk to, we had loads of fun together. As for this stuff about living together, well it was never planned it was more like wouldn't it be nice sort of comments. I wanted to trust him. I obviously gave too much of myself too soon. And now I'm left holding a pair of tickets to a play in London on his birthday. I feel a right idiot.

[Wakeup]

How long did you know him, how did you meet and was that the first time you would be going to his home? Did you get a chance to ask him if you were the only one he was dating?

P.S. You may still be jumping the gun here. Don't wait around hoping but don't assume so much either. I'd no ring him again though - it's up to him to contact you but like I said, watch that he isn't just calling you when he's got nothing else going.

[maxmax]

I feel a right idiot and I officially am giving up on men and love.

There are those of us who could say the say about women.

At least he had the courtesy to get in touch with you.

Did he get back to your last text?

Things may not be as bad as they may appear at the moment, and he really may be feeling under the weather.

Give it a few days and leave it to him to make contact. All may be well in a few days, although the waiting and anticipation and gut-wrenching feeling of dejection doesn't make it any easier.

If it doesn't go anywhere, don't let some idiot put you off finding someone who will love and appreciate you ... because that is what might happen if you give up, and he, nor anyone else, will be worth you missing out on that!

[Jenswaiting]

We've known each other about a month and a half. Met on PoF, talked via the site for a couple of weeks and arranged the first date. At least four of our dates lasted up to 9 hours, and I mean each date. We seemed to connect really well before the end of the first date and have seen each other every weekend since and a few times during the week. I've been to his place twice and both times he made a great meal. I didn't ask him if he was seeing anyone else because it would have been insulting. I say this because that's how keen he was. Texting me in the morning, the evening...very frequently. He made it clear in actions as well as words that he was falling for me. Unfortunately no he hasn't responded to my last text.

Thanks Max & Wakeup. I won't hold my breath, but I'll try not to write him off completely.

[Jenswaiting]

Feeling a bit silly now. He sent me a text this morning at 7:30am (!) apologising for missing my call as he fell asleep and was still feeling rough. He even asked why I was confused. Needless to say I felt rather ridiculous, especially when I suggested that we talk when he's feeling better and he said of course.

It's a shame that I let my mind run away with me like this.