what do you think of smart girlfriend? guys opinion needed

[Yet another guy]

But its very naive to assume that just because two people are intelligent they can work out their differences.

My instinct tells me that mutual intelligence does make it easier to work out differences but it's neither necessary nor does it guarantee anything.
I think that there are more important factors such as humility.

Then again, what would I know about relationships...

[Mathias]

My instinct tells me that mutual intelligence does make it easier to work out differences but it's neither necessary nor does it guarantee anything.
I think that there are more important factors such as humility.

Then again, what would I know about relationships...

It's not really humility, it's just plain compatibility. It doesn't matter whether you're smart or dumb - if you don't get along on basic levels, it's just not going to work.

[Yet another guy]

If two people are compatible, do they need to work out differences?

[Jolicoeur]

Well I was talking about conversations in the airport not being about what someone did wrong or however the comment went.

Ok, so you meant that after ten years even smart people have not much to talk about anymore. I guess it's possible, but I'm sure this happens much earlier when one of the partners has not much conversation to start with. And smart people can continue to develop interests, and hence conversational subjects.

But its very naive to assume that just because two people are intelligent they can work out their differences.

Let's at least agree that there is less fighting over little things. Or is that unrealistic too?

What is the length of your longest relationship?

I'll consede being naive if you allow me to forfeit my painfully embarrassing answer to that question...

[HeartIsAching]

If two people are compatible, do they need to work out differences?

I suppose the depends on the degree of compatibility. My wife and I have nearly zero differences to work out, and we're roughly on the same level intelligence-wise.

[misombra]

Gag me with a fork.

(I stole that from hayward rip.)

[IndiReloaded]

I suppose the depends on the degree of compatibility. My wife and I have nearly zero differences to work out, and we're roughly on the same level intelligence-wise.

HIA, you are frankly still in honeymoon phase. There's married and being an OMC (old married couple). You will have differences, every couple does. In another decade you will, no doubt, still love your wife but your perspective will be seasoned differently.

Note that I'm not being cynical, just factual. I've been with my husband 21 years. Still love each other but it certainly hasn't been all honey and roses.

[HeartIsAching]

HIA, you are frankly still in honeymoon phase. There's married and being an OMC (old married couple). You will have differences, every couple does. In another decade you will, no doubt, still love your wife but your perspective will be seasoned differently.

Note that I'm not being cynical, just factual. I've been with my husband 21 years. Still love each other but it certainly hasn't been all honey and roses.

True - but we've also been best friends for 20 years. There will be differences, I have no doubt of that - however, in the main we see eye-to-eye on nearly everything. I've been married before, this isn't new to me... this is just the first time I got it right. We do have some fundamental differences - she loathes confrontation, and I like it too much. Sometimes she says "You need to back off" and sometimes I say "You need to not roll over." It happens.

I've also come to the new aspect of our relationship armed with knowledge and an attitudinal adjustment I'd never had before. We've had a couple of minor hitches and they've (yes!) been due to me slipping. I've apologized, made changes to fix it, and we've moved on. I do NOT mean to imply that it's all honey and roses, nor that I believe that it will be. But it'll be damned good.

[sadie_genie]

Ironic? I'm surprised you're surprised. Colleges are way oversubscribed. Most who are there don't belong there.

It doesn't take a genius to go to a top university and graduate with a PHD. What I notice is that people who make it on top there are usually people who are dedicated and work hard.

[MaidenMinx]

Congrats Indi! Thats awesome. I was wondering just the other day if there was anyone in here that had hit the double decade mark in their relationship. They say the first 7 years are the hardest so I was stoked when hubby and I got to 7 years. Now that we're at 8 years and finally married... I've suddenly realised how short a period of time 8 years is.

[IndiReloaded]

I think Wakeup has also been married a long time. We had a bumpy patch after a decade. The first few years we were so busy with school and our careers. Then children. Every phase brings different joys and challenges.

[Mathias]

It's pretty awesome that the long-married couples still come here to share with us. Thank you for doing that.

[IndiReloaded]

True - but we've also been best friends for 20 years.

I'm sure this smooths out a lot of issues. One reads the odd story about old friends becoming companions later in life. Seems it often works out well. The friendship, but also the older POV. Things seem less urgent somehow when ones been around a block a few times, I think. Harder to be perturbed, I find.

[MaidenMinx]

I think Wakeup has also been married a long time. We had a bumpy patch after a decade. The first few years we were so busy with school and our careers. Then children. Every phase brings different joys and challenges.

This is something I am going to have to keep reminding myself of. Every now and then I have a moment of panic, thinking 'what have I done?! I have tied myself to someone for the rest of my life!' Then I have to laugh at myself because I realise 3 things almost instantly 1. This is what I have always wanted 2. I tied myself to him forever the second our son was conceived 3. I love my husband and could not imagine my life without him... well I can but it's not a pretty picture.

Personally I think the best source of relationship advice are the couples that have been together for multiple decades. From interviews I have read and seen with couples that have been together 50 yrs plus one of the most common pieces of advice seems to be never say anything you can not take back.

[saveamarriage]

I cant stand "dumb" girls, like the bimbo ones. So ya smart girls are awesome