2 Dates and already Overanalyzing...

[lovelee]

The dates went well, and I got the sense that he did like me. But he doesn't call me. If I call him, we could end up talking for an hour. But he doesn't initiate. When he hang out too, he's quite laidback and doesn't mind me taking more initiative in what we do.

In the past, I have always overanalyzed situations. For example, one thing I do whenever I am interested in someone is obsessively Google them and read everything I can about the science/philosophy/advice about love so I feel more prepared and in control. Of course, this never actually helps anything.

Another thing I have done in the past is be weird with calling. Like I might not call for a few days (until my self-control runs out) and then call many times in one day. So far I haven't called him. I sent him a short text after we parted ways. Anyways I don't know if I will see him again. I don't really know what it's going to happen, and the uncertainty is bothering me.

I think too much about the future and trying to envision what it would be like.

I also have a tendency to fall in love with the idea of a person, or the idea of a relationship. It's a bit horrible. I can see my female friends as fully human, because I can relate. But sometimes with guys it is a bit harder to see them as being as relatable and real. This guy, he definitely is very human; yet the fact he is a guy; the fact I like him; the fact I feel that...in a sense..so much is at stake.. causes a sort of thinking things out so much that the guy just becomes a collection of attributes that I have on my wish list, even if it wasn't that in the beginning.. but it always becomes that. I don't think that it's fair to the guy, for everything he is to be reduced to bland phrases, but this is the way I've in a way managed my crushes too, by commoditizing them. In a sense, maybe its a useless self-defense mechanism.

I'm just asking for anyone who can give me some insight or some alternative way of looking. I don't want to mess it up again. I'm tired of failing, falling, crying, being rejected, doing the wrong thing.

[MaidenMinx]

I have no advice except to say that over-analysing isn't the greatest trait. I know because I keep copping flack for being the same way. I'm working on it so if you need support on that front, let me know.