Boys I need advice pleeeeeaaaassssseeee!!

[ladyl]

So I finished with my ex a few months ago some I had some issues from a previous relationship and needed to sort my head out. Got counselling and sorted myself out and still have feelings for my ex so we got back in touch. We were texting and he said he still liked me and I said I just needed to sort my head out etc. So he went for a big promotion at work in London on Monday so I surpirsed him and picked him up (after waiting for over 2 hours) at the airport and he said no one had ever cared enough about him to do that. So I gave him a lift home not expecting to be invited in, but he asked me in and we chatted then he made a move on me and I stayed the night. He kept saying he just wanted to cuddle me all night. Anyway in the morning he was a bit off with me, but was texing me on Tuesday night saying good night sweetheart and sweet dreams etc. But I haven't heard from him since. I don't know whether I should just give up or whether I'm just being impatient because I have now decided I want to get things back on track but he needs more time, or is trying to play it cool? It's driving me mental, so I've completely backed off and haven't contacted him either.

[Deezal]

Hi Ladyl. Well he's definitely not playing it cool - you don't play it cool with someone you've already been in a relationship with, because there's no need. If you want to take things slowly, then you communicate it. Actions always speak far louder than words, so focus on what he's doing rather than what he's said. You had put yourself out by picking him up from the airport, but he's clearly not reciprocating. The guy may not have bad intentions, he's possibly confused himself but either way, it's screwing with your head and it's pretty certain that he's not interested in much more than a few flirty texts and a convenient sleep over. Hope that doesn't come across as harsh but I've done the same as what he's doing a few times when I had less awareness. You can easily get caught up in the moment and end up in bed with your ex, but being a bit off with them in the morning is a fairly sure sign that you're not really into what just happened.

Another thing, and this is to do with you, is that a few months isn't much time to get over not one, but two relationships. If you've done all that work and really have sorted your head out then take some time and enjoy having a clear mind, you owe it to yourself not to let it get screwed up again. Be kind to yourself, and your head will thank you

Hope this helps!

[Wakeup]

So I gave him a lift home not expecting to be invited in, but he asked me in and we chatted then he made a move on me and I stayed the night. He kept saying he just wanted to cuddle me all night

You mean to tell me that you hooked back up and speant the night with this guy and in all that time together you didn't bother to tell him that you love him, have been unable to get over him and asked him how he was feeling about a proper reconciliation?

WTF is wrong with all you young (or older) people who will rub genitals together without care but you're unable/incapable/afraid/too dumb to communicate what it is you want/need/will strive to live for?

Talk to this man and quit guessing and playing games WITH YOURSELF, Lady...

[bulrush]

WTF is wrong with all you young (or older) people who will rub genitals together without care but you're unable/incapable/afraid/too dumb to communicate what it is you want/need/will strive to live for?

Younger people are more able to separate emotions from sex. That's about it. It's a dangerous world. Why risk emotions when sex is "good enough"?

But yes, what Wakeup said. You must take a risk and TALK to him. Tell him what you want, and ask him what HE wants, and encourage him to be honest about it.

[Wakeup]

Younger people are more able to separate emotions from sex. That's about it. It's a dangerous world. Why risk emotions when sex is "good enough"?

Sorry, Im not buying that: If "sex was good enough" this thread wouldn't exist because this young lady would be good enough with what she got. Which was a romp in the hay and the brush off by the sounds of things.

[ladyl]

Yeah in hindsight it was clearly just sex. I haven't heard from him now for over 3 days and have accepted that I'm not going to! Last text he sent me was saying that I'm hot! I just don't get why he said all of those nice things on Monday nigh and the texts on Tuesday night. t I mean it's not like he had to say them to try and get me into bed! And it was him who invited me in and made the first move, I just stopped outsie his door but he invited me in and wanted me there all night.
He's been in my life for nearly a year now so I'm a bit dissappointed that he hasn't just turned round and said listen it was nice that you met me at the airport but I'm totally over it and just not interested. He does have some emotional issues as his ex wife of 13 years was cheating on him and broke his heart so he has been single for about 3 years now. His friend said that when I finished with him he was crying and very upset so maybe he just doesn't want to get hurt again. I guess I'll never know and I made my feelings clear by surprising him at the airport so I'm certainly not putting myself out there again for him, especially when I'm actually in a good place now.