Very confused about the net relationship I have entered with a guy who lives across the atlantic literally from me, we belong to the same country and share a common culture but belong to different faiths.
We have been in this relationship for about 4 months now my problems --
a) He initiated cyber which I reluctantly gave into coz I am somuch in love with him...He just feels that when 2 people are in love they shud express it. Never cam to cam coz He doesnt have a web cam --- so he says. I love this guy but apart of me says is he after me for this cyber thing. have never been comfortable with this n initially all are arguments revolved around this coz he said yes n I said no.
b) He says all the right things and seems always sensitive caring making time from his work for me bt never once has wanted to exchange phone numbers, we have exchanged snaps but thats all my problem I have exchanged more than one snap with him so he knows its me for sure, while he has only exchanged one snap with me....which I know puts a red flag flying high.
c) Confusion reigns galore coz at one level he seems to keep a distance while another he seems to want committment, we have spoken marriage, His words he has also spoken to his parents about us initially they were very excited but once they knew we are from different faiths....disappointement-
have put across concern as to whether I will convert. Bringing up children in a neutral enviorment let them have a choice etc etc etc.
My side I havent spoken to anyone at home or anything coz I am still figuring out is he for real. His mother is insisting that he date girls for real so that he sees reason n gets out of this net relationship. Its not that he hasnt been in serious relationships has been in 2 which he has told me already high school girlfriend n one more. His mother once caught him chatting with me around 4 am ...his bedroom ligths were on n she went ballistic that he was most probably talking to me on the phone..............
d) I have requested many times now for another snap bt that makes him all cranky n upset n even phone number doesnt want to exchange it. His reasoning the religious differences that we have will stir trouble for me at my end ....I am totally confused with this line of reasoning. I suspect sometimes he worries that i mite reject him coz may he is too fat or maybe he is too thin or maybe he has 10001 pok marks on his face. In our last argument I made this abundantly clear that its not his looks that I am in love with hoping........that he wud give in ...bt he comes back saying I know u think I am a fraud.........
e) I am so in love with him that I think I fail to see attimes that he is all wrong jst a creep ...but then are so many other things in our conversations that makes me believe he is genuine and the odd hours he keeps to talk to me coz of the time difference., if its day here its night there. I know he is not a married perv feel sure about dat or someone way too older...instincts bt I maybe wrong.
f) What makes me feel he is genuine well he always hints that I shud tell about my relationship to my sister get someone on my side to let this relationship materialize, make my parents see things differently etc etc.
Has even suggested eloping .."u have a passport I can arrnge things at my end to get u out of there". According to him our problems n I know in our country n culture religious differences are such a big no no that yes he is right, we have a major problem...n most people wud think running away n having a civil marriage is the onl option (hey on my end though I still need to figure out r u for real my love. I am not a 15 yr old to run away at 29 .......I am hopefully much more sensible)
g) My worst fear is dat he is into this coz of the cyber thing bcoz now if I want avoid it ......it makes him cranky as hell he will go to ends to start a sex conversation.....bt apart of me feels that he is making way too much of an emotional involvement for just that.
Everybody seems to say one must follow ones instinct bt what do I do my feelings for him make all instincts seem shortfused.