He lies, and won't commit, and lies more...but I still want to be with him

[Wakeup]

This way I will have someone who always loves me to cuddle up on the sofa with.

Once you learn to love yourself You'll NEVER be without someone that loves you because where ever you go... there you'll be.

[this.is.me]

Once you learn to love yourself You'll NEVER be without someone that loves you because where ever you go... there you'll be.

Working on it, but thats a lot easier said then done. For now I have my dog.

[Wakeup]

Best wishes. Don't go back to him he'll hinder your process on that journey to loving you.

[IndiReloaded]

Well its over. I told him if that if it really going to take that whole time for him to decide that was pretty much an answer in its self. Now I just need to deal with the fall out for me the best I can. The really hard part is all the friends we share, including me being good friends with his roommate. I am going to keep seeing lots of him when I go out since I currently have a somewhat limited group of friends, although I am trying to work on that.

After several hours of talking with him until I could get him to just give me a straight yes or no I spent the rest of the night on the phone with one of my few friends who does not know him. We kinda decided the reason I got so emotional this past week (because really this isn't me) if I just finally pulled all the boxes of stuff from when I was married out of storage and started unpacking. Seeing all the stuff, remembering that I had someone who adored me and would bend over backwards for me but I just was not able to commit myself to him, I never did cheat on him but I went out with friends as single all the time. I never wanted a relationship with my husband but he kept pushing and I gave in. This time it was the other way around and I guess I thought I could make it work for me.

My friend is helping me have a garage sale, get this stuff out of my life. I should have gotten rid of it a long time ago but I just packed it in boxes to deal with later. Its really almost like you can feel my failure at relationships every time you go to unpack something.

So yeah now I get to figure out how to deal with seeing him almost everytime I go out. If I avoid places he frequents I will also end up avoiding several good friends. I know next time he sees me he is going to try and give me a hug and I don't even know how I am going to deal with that.

Hey Thisisme, I just read your thread and sounds to me like you have come to the correct conclusion. I hate to say it, but you found yourself one of these guys who comes across as 'such a nice guy' until you realize he's a completely selfish jerk who couldn't (or rather, would prefer not to) make a decision to save his life. The niceness he displays generally gets him what he wants: a woman of poor self-esteem who will continue to let him do exactly what he wants. You were completely correct to show him your backbone. Just make sure you stick to your decision for the reasons Wakeup said. You'll do fine. Good luck.

Once you learn to love yourself You'll NEVER be without someone that loves you because where ever you go... there you'll be.

LOL, I hate these pithy aphorisms but I suppose there's some truth there. Guys like this one need to know there are grown-up women who are looking for grown-up men. Until they get there, however, there are plenty of women who will take them on as projects thinking they can change them. Don't be one of them, its a hopeless endeavour. Or, since we are into trite sayings: people have to want to change for themselves and their own reasons.