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Thread: So lost and confused. Is it possible....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    Female
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    So lost and confused. Is it possible....

    To fall out of love?

    Should I leave?
    Hey all. I'm new to this, but I'm in desperate need of advice. I'll give you some history:
    My husband and i have been married for 3 years, together for 5 years total. We moved in together 6 months after meeting.
    Not even a year after we married, he cheated on me. I left him but then quickly ran back, not only to have him cheat again. Well I went back. However he's not the only bad guy. I cheated on him after the second time because i thought it would allow me to forgive him, or get back at him. One or the other.
    A few months later, I find out I'm pregnant. Everything changes and things get better. Last year I left moved out again because I was fed up with fighting and our differences. After a month, he convinced me to come back.
    Now all of those feelings have returned and I'm tired of fighting. The love I feel for him is nowhere near what I once felt, and everything he does sends me over the edge. He also lacks ambition. He works a hard labor job, and dropped out of high school. He has no desire to get his GED.
    I've started talking to someone else, and he reminds me of who I used to be. I really like him, even though we are just friends. I'm afraid I'm going to be tempted to cheat. The thing is though, I'm not afraid of leaving and then getting together with this other guy, only to be dumped and left alone. If it's not him, then I know there will be someone else out there for me. And just the thought of being single and free to do what I want excites me. I want to see what else is out there.... I don't know what to do.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    Male
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
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    1,517
    Well, forget about the other guy first. He is making you feel something new again, like your husband did at the beginning with him. Now you are into the marriage and you are coming to terms with the fact that this is your life. So you have to decide if you want it to be your life or not.

    My opinion, now that you have a child involved, you owe it to everyone, yourself included, to try to make things work. That doesn't mean they will, but you should try. You should go to couple's counseling with your husband. You have to work through the old pain and resentment and see where you can be together on things.

    I am not saying it will work. First, BOTH you and your husband want to work to make it better. If one of you doesn't want to work on the marriage, it is just a matter of time before it is over. Secondly, though, some people are just not meant to be together. Sometimes people just have too many differences about the important things to them.

    Get together with your husband and work on it.
    Brought to you by Dating With Devon!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Gender
    Female
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    I've stopped talking to the other guy. But what's going to stop me from "feeling something" with every guy I'm attracted to, even if I try to avaid this situations.

    And do I tell my husband exactly what I'm feeling, even that I feel I want someone else?

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