Hitting Brick Walls

[confusedjester]

Hello there,

So I should start by saying that I just came out of a big relationship with a man I planned to marry. We lived together. He cheated on me. Broke my heart.

I found myself quickly getting in to a relationship with a new man who I had just met. I'm 24, he's 22 and he is beautiful and we have a lot in common. There are two problems. He is such a lad. I'm used to being able to form an emotional connection through talking but he wouldn't even compliment me until I brought it up after a few weeks. I know I shouldnt expect but it I guess, I just wasnt sure if he thought I was pretty etc. Occasionally he will say something but it's constantly me telling him I miss him or think he's amazing. He never initiates it.

Second problem is, it's only been a month and his best friend tragically died. At first he called me in tears (which was odd as he seems unemotional) and of course I was completely 100% there and called him constantly to make sure he was okay as he had to go back to his home country. The first night we spoke alot but it's been 5 days and we've had next to no contact. I keep texting him to ask if he is okay and he rarely replies and when he does it's very short.

I guess a third problem is that when he is here, he stays with me for days on end...and all we do is have sex and watch tv. We do chat, but we chat like mates. There is just not emotional chat.


IN SHORT!!!! I just hate feeling insecure and that I need to be reassured, especially with his friend dying. I just don't know what I'm meant to do. I don't want to nag him but JESUS, throw me a bone once and a while? He's coming over tommorow and it will be me just looking after him for a few days but he is also a bit of a mummys boy and I dunno - whats happening here?


Im probably being unreasonable...but whats going on?!

[confusedjester]

I should add...he wants me to meet his mum!?!?

[surfhb]

What's the question?

[confusedjester]

Lol Sorry!

Basically - Are my insecurities making me self sabbotage it all or is his brick wall approach to talking about feelings ruining it?

[Randomness]

Some people are just bad with emotions, and losing one's best friend tends to be very traumatic. By the sounds of it you're lacking the chemistry, and if you think he doesn't fulfill your requirements of a caring boyfriend, i'd suggest you move on.