I really just wanted an outsiders opinion but since I needed to choose I thought I'd ask you guys..
So, the story with me and this guy is not simple. It started years ago.. He has always been kind of a player and I knew it the first time we met (had some mutual friends). He "chased" me for months before even getting a kiss. I wanted to take things slow cause I thought he might break my heart. Then he started acting like he was serious with me. He told me he loved me and we dated for a while before I found out he was seeing others at the same time. After that I didn't want to see him for a while at all and finally told him I wanted to be just friends. He started dating someone else.
After 6 months they were still together and we met at a birthday party. We talked for quite a while and got a long amazingly well. After that he started texting me, just asking how my day was going etc. He told me he was still in love with me instead of his girlfriend but I turned him down, saying I didn't want to be the other woman or anything. A few months went by and they broke up. We didn't actually date again but had a few one night stands.. I got a funny feeling he was still kind of into his ex and didn't want things to get serious between us. I decided it was better for me and him both if we let things cool off at least for a while. Then I met an awesome guy I started seeing, fell in love and dated him for 18 months or so. During this time we didn't see each other much but stayed friendly.
Finally, I broke things off with that other guy (just because we weren't happy together anymore so it didn't have anything to do with my ex). Approximately one month after I started hearing from my ex again. He had just started his service in the Finnish army. We have been keeping in touch ever since and I care about him probably more than I should cause the thing is.. His behaviour is really unpredictible and all over the place..
On the other hand:
1. We have "casual sex"
2. When we go out in a group he usually seems to be more interested in his friends and drinking than being with me (which is not always a bad thing, I don't want u to think I'm that needy of course we don't need to be together all the time, I just think I should have at least a little bit of his attention if he's really into me..)
3. He sometimes flirts with other people (also not THAT bad cause I do the same.. not as much I think but still..)
4. It might take him forever to answer a text and sometimes he doesn't do it at all (again, I'm not the kind of person who answers right away either and I text him quite rarely.. also I understand he's busy being in the army and all but if he really thinks about me a lot then he shouldn't just forget to text back, right?)
5. He doesn't really go around bragging about it but he has told his army friends about me. "I'm hitting that" or something like it.. And nothing else.
But then again:
1. He does sometimes call me during his weekend holidays and ask me out just for a beer/coffee and doesn't try and make move or anything. Just an hour or two of chatting and then a kiss goodbye.
2. When we're out he is focused on his male friends, not female.
3. I'm pretty sure he hasn't had sex with anyone but me for a while now.. Why? Cause usually when he's not out with me I still know where he is or who he's with (I don't even need to ask anyone, we just share so many friends and people always talk).
4. He does text me just to ask how I'm feeling or to tell me about his day.
5. He's not exactly the kind of guy who tells his friends how he really feels so even if I asked them (and I'm not going to ) I think the real answer wouldn't be as simple as "I'm hitting that".
6. He did invite me to be his date in this huge party for soon-to-be officers
I'm really confused here. I have no need to be with this guy 24/7 and I understand he has his own life. He needs time to be by himself and with his friends and so do I.. But I'm really starting to fall for him so I would appreciate your honest opinions.. What's going on in his head? Is he trying to play me? Does he really care about me or am I some kind of a back-up plan? Should I just end things now or see where this leads (if anywhere)? I thank you already