Originally Posted by
TJDVAN
So, I will try to keep this as brief as possible.
I met a girl who changed everything for me two and a half years ago; she put light in my life where that had not been any before, she changed my hopes, my goals, my dreams, she conquered my fears, she made me a better person. And we were blissfully in love for around 12 months. The night we got together after months of trying to deny our attraction (she wanted to travel and I was studying for a Masters, so tied to one place), I climbed through her bedroom window and told her I could never again wake up and not be beside her. We were passionate, caring, completely into one another to the extent that nothing and nobody else in the whole world mattered as long as we were together.
I finished my Masters in July of 2010, and after much debate we decided to move back to the U.K., where we are both nationals. We hated it there and for eight months, we lived with parents as we saved every penny we could earn to return to the place where we had met and fallen in love. But soon after realising that dream, she told me the past had killed us, and that she was no longer in love with me. This absolutely destroyed me, because although I know we had not been as happy, I believed in this with such total conviction that I had vowed never to give up and to keep fighting in the knowledge that when things settled down, we would be golden again.
Anyway, it has been seven weeks since she left and I feel like I am at my wit's end. I have tried anything and everything to get over her, or at least to start the process. I have been out, done new things, met new people, focused on work, on going to the gym, learning how to cook new things, watching movies, speaking to friends and family. But nothing works. I just feel a constant bereavement, so utterly hollow and hopeless. I watch things that used to inspire me and feel nothing. I look over job descriptions and feel nothing. I think about moving to a new place, or a new country, but feel nothing. I have tried to be who I was before I met her, but I hate that person now because he wasn't loving or happy.
She was everything I had ever hoped for and never thought I would find. She came from nowhere, completely unlooked-for, so I know that everything we had was real. I wanted her to be the mother of my children, which is a powerful statement from someone who had been in a six-year relationship with someone (who was also wonderful) when he was younger and felt nothing like the same power or depth of connection.
I just do not see how I move forward. I don't want anything anymore - I'm just lost and alone. And however hard I try - and believe me I try so, so hard - I just can't stop thinking about her, and that I will never get to look into her beautiful eyes again and tell her I love her. Never get to wake up beside her, hold her hand as I walk down the street, or tell her my deepest hopes and fears. I feel like I have lost everything that mattered.
Please help me - what can I do, or try, to get over this?