Did I do the right thing?

[someguy89]

Here's a little backstory:
My ex broke up with me in February, and I fought and begged. I acted like a wimp and tried to contact her a few times over the months.

However, a few weeks ago her best friend prank called me, then asked me if i was over my ex, and then called me later that week telling me that i owe my ex money and i should pay her.

To be fair I owed her money from spring of 2010


However I'm not doing good financially right now, I have had to borrow money from my parents to pay bills the last few months. So any money I can save up goes to myparents first

So saturday I texted her and told her I coudnt pay her back ($180) and told her why. she texted me back saying:

"Um, I already figured that out"

I said:

"Well I guess this was all about you being spitefull"

Her:"That's not what I said, i just figured that because i havent heard from you didnt get back to ne"

me: "Why would i get back to you? we r not on speaking terms"


Ok, sorry if that was long, my question is weather or not you guyd think i handled the situation right? Did I sound like a jerk? A part of me wants to maybe try talk to her again in a few months, so where do you guys think I could go from there?

[Andariel]

If you owed her mney you ought to have contacted her a long time ago to explain how and when you were planning on paying her back. The money wasn't a gift and you have an obligation to return it to her asap. Not mentioning anything about the money to her all this time is poor form.

It's September 2011 now and you owe her money since 2010. The fact that you broke up does not mean it is OK for you to 'forget' about your debt regardless of whether you are on speaking terms or not. Make arrangeemnts to pay her back and inform her about them.

Your relationship is over and there is no point in hoping that you can use this as an excuse to try to get her back because it is not going to happen, especially after your behaviour in relation to your debt to her. She quite rightly believes you are an idiot for not only owing her money and seemingly having no intention of paying her back but also because you called her 'spiteful'on top of all this just because she wants back what is due to her!!!!

Grow up!Learn how to be responsible and if you have to take up a 2nd or a 3rd job waiting tables to pay her back then this is what you have to do . It is your responsibility to ensure you pay your debt, without trying to act like amassive jerk about it.

[someguy89]

True I acted like a Jerk, but I'm actually glad I did I havent mentioned the immature and jerky things she's done to me over the past year. For almost the whole time i owed her the money, she told me she didnt want me to pay her back (even when i had the money to do it) (I even had 200$ in my hand one day to give her, and she didnt take it During our break up i sent her a text saying i have the money to give to her (when i did have the money) and she never responded back)

She made her best friend ask me only after i sent an ex a good-bye letter. So yes, asking for money is her way of trying to re-end things on her terms


and asfar as the money goes, yeah i owe her the money, but i also owe my parents much more money, and paying back my parents takes excessive precidence over paying off my ex

[someguy89]

Though I decided to pay her back using paypal

[Andariel]

When you were together things were different.

After you broke up, it was convenient for you to keep the money and so you did. Anyone with a little self-respect and dignity would have returned the money to her.

Actually you have a bigger obligation to return the money to her first instead of your parents because she is not related to you or has any kind of relationship with you in any way anymore and therefore she is under no obligation to show understanding and patience. Do the right thing: be a man, give her back what you owe her and move on with your life.

[Bigboy77]

Yeah send her the money or whatever. Then you can get the bitch out of your life forever.

[someguy89]

Well if you listned to my second post, I said I already tried to give her the money while we were broken up, but she never repsonded. So cool it with the self respect and dignity mumbo jumbo until you actually read everything i post.

Secondly, you dont know the whole story, please don't make broad accusations about me based on the minimal info I post in a paragraph.

Finally, if you actually read what I wrote, i already said i decided to pay her back

[Andariel]

All that is just excuses and you know it. Give her back the money and get on with your life.