Brief history that is relevant to this.
I met her in a night club. At the time, she was living with her ex, whom she still had sex with "only because it was easier to do it then tell him no because I had work in the morning".... At that point, and at the point she kissed me shortly after we met, their relationship was over They were still living together though because "I didn't want to lose that apartment because I liked it and I was on a lease". During the relationship and probably after, he physically abused her, I consider the sex rape as she clearly didn't want it, and locked her in the house so she couldn't get away to report him after she was abused.
Now, he lives in Texas, while we are in Ohio. I'm 22, she's 24, going to be 25 this September. She talks to him almost daily, he voices his opinions about me, which she usually hides from me to "avoid a fight". When we do talk about it, she says she can't control what he's saying and I can't control her and tell her not to talk to him.
So do I be the controlling asshole and possibly ruin the relationship? Do I grow a backbone and drop her for being good buddies with a criminal ex? Or do I stop feeling like shit because of this?
Sound and truthful advice, please. Thanks a lot in advance.