What do I/we do?

[bulrush]

I agree. Break up with your gf. If you and your ex got along so well, why did you break up again? In one sentence please.

[elny1]

She's concerned I'm cutting my life short of things like having a kid of my own by getting mixed in with her and 2 kids at such a young age and she's concerned that in 10 years I'll break up with her.

[searock]

She's concerned I'm cutting my life short of things like having a kid of my own by getting mixed in with her and 2 kids at such a young age and she's concerned that in 10 years I'll break up with her.

Okaay, regardless: why don't you break up with your current gf? You are causing her more damage than you can imagine. How would you like it to be in a relationship - moving in - with a girl who falls asleep every night thinking about another man?! Do her and yourself a favour and break. up.

Then you can think about your ex, what to do, etc.

[smackie9]

She's concerned I'm cutting my life short of things like having a kid of my own by getting mixed in with her and 2 kids at such a young age and she's concerned that in 10 years I'll break up with her.

First of all, ask yourself, do YOU want children of your own? Do you feel you would be missing out on life if you became an istent father at the age of 24? What are your life goals that would be inhibited from being in this type of relationship? Could you see yourself marrying her, and commit to her and her children for the rest of your life? If you resumed a relationship with her, how long would it be till you proposed marriage? Make a list of pros and cons, and be realistic when you ask yourself these questions.

If, realistically, there are mostly cons, then all there truly is just a residual left over from your previous relationship. You are just missing the familiarity and comfort you had with her......time to work on letting it go.

[bulrush]

She's concerned I'm cutting my life short of things like having a kid of my own by getting mixed in with her and 2 kids at such a young age and she's concerned that in 10 years I'll break up with her.

Ok. My "crazy meter" just went off. I think she has insecurity issues, or she's just not into you anymore. Not sure which. But her reply made no sense if she claims to like you and think about you a lot. So, I'm leaning towards insecurity issues, she sounds like she cannot make up her mind because of fear.

Anyway, if a girl cannot make up her mind, I just dump her. I don't date nutty chicks. If she wants help with her insecurities, fine I'll work with her. But if she never brings up working on her insecurities, we are over. Again, good communication is key.

[Mona_B]

To make it short, I don't think you and your Ex are finished yet. You should meet her in person and talk about everything, this is the only reasonable thing to do now. And then take it from there.

[elny1]

I've been struggling for a while and I'm glad you guys all took the time to give me solid advice. I just broke up with my girlfriend. I was on-edge about doing it, but the unanimous decision made me feel a lot more confident. I understand that as perfectly ideal as she is for me and for a long term relationship, she's not what I need right now. I can't be emotionally connected to one girl if I'm still grieving over an ex. I'm going to try and take a break from talking to my ex for a few days so I can clear my head and gauge my feelings.

Thank you everyone.
-Nick

[smackie9]

Please keep us updated. Best of luck.

[bulrush]

To make it short, I don't think you and your Ex are finished yet. You should meet her in person and talk about everything, this is the only reasonable thing to do now. And then take it from there.

I don't think his ex is good enough at communication, nor can she decide what she wants, based on what I read here. This would work with normal people, but I wouldn't call the ex "normal" in this circumstance. Worth a try anyway, if only to say "I tried".

[salzalove]

Sounds like you are trying to forget the ex by distracting yourself with the new. Don't do it...if there is a chance, go back with the ex.

[elny1]

Update: I feel relieved after breaking up with my current girlfriend. I don't feel bad about missing my ex now. She's on my mind a ton, but I'm not going to ever get back with her (and we haven't made any attempt to talk to each other). I can't trust that she won't break up with me again over a similar circumstance *puke*. She taught me a valuable lesson that I'm having trouble comprehending, however I believe it to be the truth: We are all alone in this world. I may as well take this time to get more comfortable in finding out more about myself and finding enjoyment in my own hobbies and friends.