Trial Period with Ex?

[tjtigers14]

Okay so she dumped me for acceptable reasons (she's not a bitch that just ditched me), I'm actually surprised that my dickish actions didnt' get me dumped sooner. Then she met this guy at work and was seeing him 2 weeks later. Even facebook official. But not even a week after that she started talking to me again and next thing I knew she was telling me she was going to dump him and pledge her love to me. Okay I worded that really cheesily, but you get the point.

She actually did it, even though I was 99% sure she had me on the hook in case it didn't work out with him. But she did it and was being honest about still loving me. And we started hanging immediately after. So this is about a 1.5 months after our break-up.

She doesn't want to rush into things. I understand, she's been in turbulence lately and I'm in no position to demand that we start dating and have sex again. I want her back and I gotta earn it back after screwing it up.

So we've hung out almost every day for the past 4 days, pretending to be friends but being super affectionate and cuddling and flirty. It's fun as hell and we made out again the other day (missed her lips). Then other times we'll just chill and watch movies or go eat.

Well she seems to keep going between being super into me and just wanting to go super slow and barely even kiss when we see each other. How do I keep it trending toward us getting back together? What do you think the timeline should be for this sort of thing? I'm not rushing it, I can chill, I just want to play it right. Thanks!

[tjtigers14]

Please help! She's coming over soon

[kw86]

It's hard to slow it down when there is a lot of chemistry. What I would recommend is to see each only like one day a week for awhile. That's all you can control.

[tjtigers14]

It's hard to slow it down when there is a lot of chemistry. What I would recommend is to see each only like one day a week for awhile. That's all you can control.

Yeah that's a good idea. I can get pretty clingy, any ideas on how to not get flustered when she doesn't text me back or we haven't seen each other in a long while? I'm 20 and I feel like a 16 year old in dating years

[wanderlustboy]

Okay so she dumped me for acceptable reasons (she's not a bitch that just ditched me), I'm actually surprised that my dickish actions didnt' get me dumped sooner. Then she met this guy at work and was seeing him 2 weeks later. Even facebook official. But not even a week after that she started talking to me again and next thing I knew she was telling me she was going to dump him and pledge her love to me. Okay I worded that really cheesily, but you get the point.

She actually did it, even though I was 99% sure she had me on the hook in case it didn't work out with him. But she did it and was being honest about still loving me. And we started hanging immediately after. So this is about a 1.5 months after our break-up.

She doesn't want to rush into things. I understand, she's been in turbulence lately and I'm in no position to demand that we start dating and have sex again. I want her back and I gotta earn it back after screwing it up.

So we've hung out almost every day for the past 4 days, pretending to be friends but being super affectionate and cuddling and flirty. It's fun as hell and we made out again the other day (missed her lips). Then other times we'll just chill and watch movies or go eat.

Well she seems to keep going between being super into me and just wanting to go super slow and barely even kiss when we see each other. How do I keep it trending toward us getting back together? What do you think the timeline should be for this sort of thing? I'm not rushing it, I can chill, I just want to play it right. Thanks!

I suppose congratulations are in order for winning back her affection.

Regarding the timeline, I couldn't say. I have no idea how women's minds work and I'm gay so it's hard to conceptualise their thinking process because I don't have to win one over to get laid.

With my first boyfriend, he broke up with me after a year together, and saw another guy for a few weeks. I invited him around for dinner and said I wanted to get back together; he indicated he felt the same way, and so we sealed the deal right there and then (if you take my meaning). As soon as we did, things were entirely back to normal, and almost like the previous 4 weeks hadn't even happened. So..the best way to mend a relationship is with a bit of sexual healing, as it were. It's like make-up sex X100.

What I can say is that sex is generally considered to be the norm in a relationship, so if you're officially back together, then you might want to dig a bit regarding her reason for not wanting to jump in the sack. It's not like your relationship starts from square one, you've barely been apart longer than the blink of an eyelid in life terms.

If you're not back officially together, then I would think that sex is probably not really on the agenda at the moment, but if you're getting all affectionate and making out, surely that will lead to sexual arousal and then sex? (Again, I don't know much about women and sex, so maybe in their case it doesn't have the same inevitable connection as it does for guys)

wlboy

[wanderlustboy]

Yeah that's a good idea. I can get pretty clingy, any ideas on how to not get flustered when she doesn't text me back or we haven't seen each other in a long while? I'm 20 and I feel like a 16 year old in dating years

When you get a bit anxious or impatient when you don't hear back, just keep in mind that being needy is most unattractive, and so every time you do that you're undoing all the good stuff you're doing to put the relationship back together. Just visualise the positives and the fact that she's already into you and no interaction by text, from you, or failure by her to send something back, will affect the chances of this concluding with you two back together.

On the other hand, if you haven't seen each other for a while.... I would expect to see someone around once a week if I was getting back into a relationship but not entirely there yet. If it's less than that, organising some additional times to catch up certainly can't hurt.

Wlboy