Should you expect your partner to defend and support you?

[helmet]

My boyfriend's female friend (they used to be involved but are close friends now) hasn't been all that friendly towards me since we've been acquainted, and the other night she pushed her shoulder into me as she was walking past, twice during the night. The first time I was surprised she didn't apologise but I assumed it was an accident, until the exact thing happened again without an apology. I was upset and told my boyfriend, but he insisted I was misunderstood as he knew her as the kind of person who wouldn't do that. He put it down to my 'vendetta' against her (I've never liked her and dislike that they were involved), but I told him I want to resolve it and to confront her about it. He didn't for several days but did so recently as I was so adamant about it. He told me I was misunderstood and that she said she didn't notice walking into me and it must have been an accident. I insisted it was deliberate (as I felt it, it was a hard push to put it down to an accident without an apology or acknowledgement and it happened twice when he wasn't looking), but he continues to tell me I have a subconscious vendetta towards her and am exaggerating the situation. I'm really disappointed because I felt he let her step on me like a doormat, and that he will always be loyal to her over me. I love him and I want to be with me, we both do but I can't shake the irritation and am concerned that if she continues to behave this way towards me, it was always be her word against mine.

[IndiReloaded]

Next time, just stick your arm out palm first into her face as she shoves past. Very effective.

Seriously, tho, this sounds like karma coming home to roost. Bitchiness tends to attract the same. Your BF isn't going to ditch this girl on your word, especially if your own behaviour has been less than ladylike in the past. You'll have to either ignore this woman or confront her yourself. There are smart ways to do this. Can you think of some?

[bulrush]

In general, both should defend each other, except if someone is doing something illegal. Like I would not defend a girlfriend who did illegal drugs. I wouldn't say things to get her in trouble, nor would I defend her. She's on her own in this case.

In this case, it sounds like you may have overreacted in the past, so your bf is right in assuming you overreact now. If you want to be treated honorably, you have to act honorably. And it does sound like both of you girls have some jealousy for each other. So, she should not be "bumping" you. I know this game, it was done to me and others in high school. It's a passive-aggressive move for cowards who don't want to address a situation. This is a bullying tactic, and bullies only understand violence. So you might have to push back, I don't know what will work.

If you want to push her back and play games, you can, but it will subtract from your reputation.

[persina]

i would definitely expect my partner to defend me. if he doesnt believe you, he should go **** her. lol juskiddn