I'm in a confusing situation with my best friend (I'm 31, she's 40).
We've been best friend for 6 years and we were both in and out of relationships with a few people. During those times, we sometimes flirt (which I consider as a joke and I'm not sure if she even serious about it). And yes, I started to develop feelings towards her, but I just shrugged it off. We continue our 'unique' friendship. We even make a promise that if 10 years from now we're both still single, we will move in together. She brought me to romantic places, weekend getaway out of town (nothing happened whatsoever) and spent lots of time together. And we said I love you to each other.
Now we're both single and we continue flirting as usual. Until yesterday, we chat through messenger, I said something about wanting to look for a GF. And she said "why not me?" followed by a laugh emoticon. I asked her whether she is being serious with what she just said. She replied with a grin emoticon. Nothing after that.
She called me later at night (we talk almost every night before we go to sleep). But she didn't mentioned anything about our messenger chat. So I brought it up. I asked her whether she was serious about wanting to be my GF or it was just another joke. I also told her that if it was a joke, I'm okay with it. She couldn't answer, but she was giggling nervously. She even told me she's covering her face with a pillow as we speak because she is so nervous. And she said she doesn't know what to say and prefer that we use chat messenger again. So we got off the phone.
15 minutes later, she texted me: "I'm your best friend" followed by a wink emoticon.
And I replied: "I know."
Her: "Keep it that way.."
Me: "Okay"
So that's it. I just don't get it. I mean, what's with her? I feel like I've been played. She shouldn't treat me as someone special if I'm not. That's sort of giving me false hope, don't you think?