He is so horrible to me

[Tonette Watson]

Hi

You are both so young. Even if you feel ready for a relationship it may be that he does not and this is quite normal when you are 16.

What is important right now is that you realise that you are a person of value who deserves to be treated and spoken to with respect. You teach people how to treat you and you are teaching your friend that you will accept bad behaviour. This will not change until you make it clear that you have standards that you will not compromise.
If you go on as you are you are setting yourself up to be a victim.

Think long and hard about what you want in a partner and try and work out if your friend has these qualities. There must have been something missing if you found the need to see other boys previously.

When you know yourself better send you friend a letter if you still want to try and make a relationship work and then ask him to meet you for a picnic lunch. Spend the whole lunch talking.

See how you feel at the end of it.

Good luck

[bulrush]

Do you really think? I thought he just wanted revenge for what I did because it hurt so much!

I normally try to refrain from calling names, but...you are a complete idiot. You need this kick in the pants, and you are so, so stupid and naive. Your mental problems make you a real danger to yourself, and you really need professional help, like a counselor.

You should NEVER stay in an abusive relationship, or stay with a vengeful person who will hurt you. Get out know before he beats you, because that's what is coming next. Please get help while you are still on your parents' insurance.

I suppose I should add some details. IMO, something happened to you when you were younger, which makes you think that it's ok for you to be abused now. You need professional help to rebalance yourself and to see that you deserve respect. You need to see and believe that you do not deserve abuse. And I think a counselor might be a good start.

p.s. My ex-wife was abusive. I thought I had to put up with it because I was a man. But I eventually dumped her.

[Petit Papillon]

First , what goes around comes around , back at you , kicks you to the ground so you learn your lesson .
You're young, imagine yourself with him 10 years later, can you do that? At least I couldn't imagine myself in the future with someone who treated me this way . You can forgive things but you will never forget . It's not like you're married already and have kids with him . You just have to walk away . Why do you want to settle for something like this when there's so many guys in the world that would treat you much better . You have to set up some standards for yourself. Do you think you're not worth more ? It's always about , how much you're worth to yourself. You deserve a better partner , new start , someone who will make you happy , not miserable . He does make you miserable , if not, you wouldn't look for help on the internet ... It's time to finish it .

[inlove123]

i don't think i need therapy, after getting involved in my first relationship i realised how immoral a person i was and i quit. now i am honest and truthful and i now realise omitting is not a lie. took me a while and thats what caused the problems but it means i feel overwhelming guilt if i lie or do something immoral, but im working on it. i had control at the beginning of the relationship. as it stands i really understand how he has rationilised it to be okay to say these things because of the stuff that happened. i have also recognised that it is emotional abusive and i told him this. as it stands - not had contact for around 2 weeks. i was doing great, getting my social life back etc. and then for some reason last night i just broke down crying and then again today. its hard to watch him move on, do and say stuff ive never seen him say before (he was never a ladies man at all) and i don't know how im going to cope with him moving on to someone else. personally, part of me really hates him. the other part of me still loves him.

i think my biggest problem with walking away is that he was my first love and apparantley it is always difficult to get over first loves. im scared i wont find anyone who will accept me again and im also scared i will never feel the same love for anyone else. im also a bit scared of watching him move on. i dont really know how to deal with it all tbh

[inlove123]

we broke up about a month ago because i saw he was an immature guy who no longer cared and was always going to say this stuff so long as i put up with it. the strange thing is he is totally against beating women but the minute i ever tried to stand up for myself, he would up the emotional abuse.

i know im better off without him and i hate him for everything he has said and done to me, he is an absolute hypocrite. i can't understand why i'm having some trouble letting go.

[Kaius]

First, I can't take your issue seriously when you tell me you are only 16. At 16 there is no real love, and you are not even the person that you are going to be in 10 years.
Whatever issue you have now, you can walk away from, without much consequences. You are a child. A child does not need to deal with adult issues.