Asking a girl out on facebook...

[shadower4]

can someone give me a honest opinion of if i should just let this go or pursue this girl.

I fell for her in 8th grade even though i never talked to her. Im attracted to her body, shy personality and her cute smile. I could never talk to her no matter how hard i tried because i would chicken out and i didn't see her throughout 10-12 grade. Im in college now and pass her twice a week but still can't talk to her. At the end of my senior high school year i buddied her on facebook. She took almost a week to accept it ( not sure if that could mean anything). So i was thinking of sending her a message saying - you probably don't remember me. I was in your _ and _ class . I think your really cute and have always been to shy to talk to you.I would really like to get to know you better. Maybe we could just talk on facebook?If you are not interested i wont bother you again.-
Another problem i have is there was this other girl who has the same last name as the girl i like and she is arranged to be married. She said if her father ever found out she had a boy friend he would have her killed. On the facebook of this girl i like none of her pictures have this other girl in it but she is friends with her. I don't want to message her and maybe get her in trouble or something On another note my friend told her i liked her in 9th grade and that day she was staring at me for a really long time in our class.

[Leona77]

How old are you exactly and how old is she? Also, where are you from and what is your religion? If she is not a minor, she is free to contact whomever she wants. And it's her responsbility to answer or not to your messages. Also, are you 100% sure her friend is telling the truth? How close are you with her and how close is she with the girl you like? I am sking you this because I have seen girls say this kind of stuff out of jealosy. It might not be the case here, but it's worth considering the option. Have a good research and if you still think you'll be putting her life in danger, let it go
If not, just write a casual message or wait for her to be on chat and then chat to her on FB chat. Don't scare her off with telling her how much you like her immediately. Just start the conversation as a friend and see how she reacts. If you get the feel she responds quickly and is interested,then give her a hint that you like her, but subtly. See how it goes and take it easy.No need to rush.
Good luck

[bulrush]

"you probably don't remember me. I was in your _ and _ class . I think your really cute and have always been to shy to talk to you.I would really like to get to know you better. Maybe we could just talk on facebook?"

This message is fine above. I left off the last sentence as it sounds wimpy.

If she is not a minor, she is free to contact whomever she wants.

Not true for conservatve muslims and hindus. And ultra-conservative christians, like Fundamental Latter Day Saints (Mormons). In these religions, the father usually controls the girls' social life very closely. For muslims, if the girl violates a rule, she can be killed. Don't you watch the news at all?

[Leona77]

Yes, I thought of that,which is why I asked about the religion. I was trying to figure out if it was an actual religious rule or a drama from her friend.
Thanks for stressing that, though

[smackie9]

Saying this shows absolute insecurity "If you are not interested i wont bother you again.-" This says that you already know you will fail. TURN OFF! it says loser. You must be confident in your intentions. Say "lets chat sometime" (confident). Don't say " maybe we could chat, if that is alright with you"....weak. See the difference in tone?


Reality check....how are you going to be able to date this girl if you can't even talk to her in person, let alone say hi? Chatting on FB will not be that magic bullet of confidence you so seek.

[shadower4]

i know i an talk to her once i get a conversation going it's just introducing my self randomly to her that i have trouble doing. i just turned 19 she is 18. Im half italian half cuban but i look white. This girl i like is indian. I never have seen her online on facebook so a chit chat is not going to work. This other girl who has the same last name as the girl i like i found out about her not being able to date or have a boyfriend by my teacher. In high school my teacher told the class about this girl. But like i said i don't know if they are related... I have been thinking about this girl i like though since 8th grade and it's caused me a lot of depression so im heavily considering just sending her a message and hoping for the best...
do you guys think it's wrong i like this girl so much even though i never talked to her? My fear is 1 she will get in trouble if she really is related to that other girl and 2 she will think im a creepy weirdo for liking her.

[smackie9]

ya it's creepy weirdo thing because you shouldn't be focusing all your energy on something that will probably not happen....it's been 5 years man...that's just a waste of time. Go and get yourself out there chatting up all kinds of girls. Tip: you should never invest you feelings when you are not in a relationship with that person.....what you are doing is borderline obsessing. And when you do that, you put yourself in a position that will limit you socially, cause all kinds of anxiety and depression. Get out of this bad habit, by pulling yourself away, keep busy with making friends, socializing, play sports or get into something that forces you to socialize.....you need these skills in order to get girls interested in you.

[shadower4]

but it might happen.. are you saying it's weird because im focusing so much energy on it? or are you saying she will think it's weird?

[oldskool83]

send her a message say hey i was in your grade meber me, heres me number text me sumtime. its that freaking simple.

[smackie9]

Both..........try the message, but if there is no eager or positive response don't push it any further.

[devonbrown]

Here is what you do. Shut off your computer. Go outside. Walk around. When you see her, take a deep breath, walk up to her and say "Hello." Just "hello" and nothing else. She will probably respond with something similar, maybe "hi" or "hey" or "do I know you?" And then you say, "My name is ___. You've been in x class and x class with me, remember? I figured it was time I finally introduced myself. How are you today?" And then you continue to talk to her. She is just a person, not a crazykillingmachinemonster.

If nothing else, this gives you an immediate reaction so you don't have to wonder why she is or isn't texting you, or if she got your message, or if she liked your message, or if you should send it again, or if you should have included your number, etc. At least you will have a clue to the direction of things and can relax a bit.

It's time to man up. It will be a good learning experience for you, trust me.

Good luck.

[shadower4]

i agree with you devon but i have tried this so many times and my mouth just wont move. i could compare it to being afraid to go on a huge roller coaster at a park i just can't do it. Do you guys think this would be less creepy? Hi... you Probably don't remember me. I was in your _ and _ class in high school and just wanted to say Hi.

just leave out the cute part and just use that to start a conversation on facebook?

[oldskool83]

if your already friends with he ron FB send a freaking message, goddamn papi! sum chick i went to HS did this, she friend requsested me i looked if she was single she was i said hey how are you, heres me number text me sumtime. she did done deal. just freaking do it and if you get a decent reply ask her for a drink sum time.

i agree saying hi in person is best but he runs a big risk of just bitchen out and looking like a fool. Behind the screen he can at least be a little more freely, most chances are its gonna go right to her phone and she will see whats up. you could of had a reponse by now man, your waisting time waffeling here on a simple cut and dry issue.

[Superfantastich]

If you want to know her as an actual person just ask her how she is going on facebook then next time you see her in person acknowledge her or start a conversation..keeping this strictly on facebook will be a nightmare, the sooner it is face to face the better!.

[smackie9]

There you go.....all the advice you could ever need, now go get er tiger!