Saw my ex gf out the other night after she "accidentally" called me

[JohnnyBeGood]

Just a little background info... I had been dating this girl for about three years before we broke up and it has been about three years now since then. She started dating this guy recently after we broke up and has been with him ever since, living with him for the past year now, about an hour away from our hometown where I live. She was my first love and I was hers. Both of our feelings got hurt a lot during the break up and it was a rough time for both of us, which I think was why this other guy was able to swoop in so easily. I thought it was just that she had found support in him during our break up but they have been dating for this long now so maybe it was more than that.

Before a few nights ago, the last time I talked to her was through text just saying hey and wondering how she was doing. I had missed her a lot and I never have seemed to be able to get over her despite dating other people, almost like "shes the one that got away" type thing I guess. Anyways, the last text I sent her I told her that Im glad to hear shes doing well and that if I was going to be honest about it, that I had regretted the way things turned out between me and her. I never got a reply. When we were texting it always seemed like she thought it wasnt an ok thing for her to be doing, and rightfully so since she was dating this guy and living with him too. It isnt that she told me it wasnt ok, its just that she would take a looong time in between texts, like a day even sometimes.

Anyways, fast forward to a week ago. I was sitting in my living room and my phone started ringing. Kind of odd and to my surprise, it was from her. "Yes! She finally came around!" I thought to myself haha and answered it. Unfortunately, she had butt dialed me and all I got was background noise. Hmpf. But then I started to think it was kinda odd because she had never "accidentally" called me before. Oh well, I just went about my regular routine and didnt think much about it.

Later that night, I was out with my friends and saw her at the bar with her younger sister. Turns out she was in town for Thanksgiving, but her bf didnt come with her which I also found kind of odd. I walked up to her and was poking fun, saying how we all know she didnt accidentally call me and had just missed me so much. We both laughed about it and she said that she saw it afterwards and didnt really mean to. Anyways, we stayed at the bar catching up the whole night, just having a good time. To me it felt like the feelings were still there for both of us, but as I stated earlier shes living with her bf now which sucks for me. She drunkingly texted me on her way home saying sorry that she had called me. I didnt know if she was saying that just to clarify that she didnt really mean to or what but I told her it was ok. I texted her the next night saying I had a good time catching up with her last night but I havent heard back from her since. I just found it kind of annoying and odd that she didnt text me back because it seemed like we both had a really fun time. Oh well.

So here I am now, about three years after we broke up, and that same flame has been lit that I had for her when we were together. There is nothing more that I want then a second chance with her but Im scared I might never get it because shes serious with this other guy. Were at that age now where our friends are all settling down and getting married, and I just want that opportunity at a second chance before she settles down too. It sucks because I really felt like the feelings were still there for her too when I saw her out the other night.

So what do you all think? Am I just being delusional or is there something still there? Is there anything I can do other than just hope she and this other guy break up with each other? Help me out here

[JohnnyBeGood]

Anyone?

Any advice would help, even if its something I dont want to hear.

[HeartIsAching]

Well, it's one of two things:

1. It was an accident, in which case you should work on moving on.

2. It wasn't an accident and she did something she regretted (and told you so), and you should work on moving on.

[JohnnyBeGood]

Yeahh Ive always known in the back of my head I guess that I need to move on. I just dont know why its been so hard for me to do.

Oh well, I appreciate the response and thanks for the help.

[devonbrown]

So what do you all think? Am I just being delusional or is there something still there? Is there anything I can do other than just hope she and this other guy break up with each other? Help me out here

Um, you are seeing what you want to see and ignoring the parts that don't fit. You said you felt that the feelings were there between the two of you again, but SHE never said that, so you can only know your side. You THINK it is odd that her boyfriend didn't come down with her for Thanksgiving, but maybe he had to work, or had an emergency. See what I am saying? You are letting your hopes color the facts in your favor. That is just going to wind up hurting you in the long run.

Personally, I think you are being a little delusional. As for anything you can do, there is. Cut ALL contact with her. Go completely no contact. No texts, no calls, no hanging out if you see her out. You need to move on and try to allow yourself a chance to find romance with someone else. Maybe you haven't found a spark with anyone else because you haven't let go of the hope of getting back together with this ex.

Accept that she is the "one that got away" and move on. Keep living or you will wind up stuck in this cycle forever.

Good luck.