My attempts to change the pattern are constantly being whitnessed (ridiculized?) by friends and family,
So don't do that around your friends and family.
When I hang out in clubs and approach women, my friends are constantly spectating it and interfering with it.
So don't go to clubs with those friends. Real friends support you. These friends are not supportive. Plus people in your age group are typically self-centered, immature, and judgemental. This is a tough age for you to be.
I guess I had some similar issues. I was just shy and lacked confidence. Being forced to take a speech class in college really helped me, because I saw other people who were just as terrified of making speeches as I was. But we were all MADE to make 3 speeches in this one class. No one was perfect, but we all passed. And I think we learned from it.
Then in my job I was forced to make presentations to people 1 or more levels above my pay grade, even to Senior VPs. Of course I was nervous my first few times, but I did more of them, and got better.
Just practice. Practice a lot. And if you fail, don't give up.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)