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Thread: Found a condom in my boyfriend's bedroom. What do you think?

  1. #1
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    Found a condom in my boyfriend's bedroom. What do you think?

    Ok, so I've been with my bf for a year and a half in a long distance relationship. We meet about once a month when he comes to my hometown where he has an apartment.
    At the start of our relationship, we used condoms, but after 2-3 months I started using birth control pills so we didn't need and use any condoms since then.
    He came to my hometown 5 days ago, but the first few days he went out with his guys or invited his friends over and we didn't see each other.
    Last night we saw each other and I spent the night at his place. In the morning I began to clean his bedroom and I found an unused condom near his bed. I asked him what's the deal with it and he said he doesn't know, that maybe it was lost under the carpet from when we used them..like a year ago???
    And the condom wasn't under the bed, it was near it, under his jeans. When I picked them up I saw it.
    I don't believe him. What do you think? I didnt want to start a huge fight because we're already been fighting a lot recently and didnt want to ruin things again, but I am really worried..
    Last edited by Laurici; 03-01-12 at 09:52 PM.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurici View Post
    Ok, so I've been with my bf for a year and a half in a long distance relationship. We meet about once a month when he comes to my hometown where he has an apartment.
    At the start of our relationship, we used condoms, but after 2-3 months I started using birth control pills so we didn't need and use any condoms since then.
    He came to my hometown 5 days ago, but the first few days he went out with his guys or invited his friends over and we didn't see each other.
    Last night we saw each other and I spent the night at his place. In the morning I began to clean his bedroom and I found an unused condom near his bed. I asked him what's the deal with it and he said he doesn't know, that maybe it was lost under the carpet from when we used them..like a year ago???
    And the condom wasn't under the bed, it was near it, under his jeans. When I picked them up I saw it.
    I don't believe him. What do you think? I didnt want to start a huge fight because we're already been fighting a lot recently and didnt want to ruin things again, but I am really worried..
    This is about the 5th thread you've started about this guy. That's a lot of red flags you ignore. Whats wrong with you? Either he's a chronic cheater who you keep forgiving or you're insane and overly jealous. Either way, this relationship was not meant to last. Get out now and quit wasting your time, his time and our time with all these threads. Quit ignoring your gut and hoping we will tell you something to make you feel better and make this dysfunctional union less angst filled for you.

    Ok, so I've been with my bf for a year and a half in a long distance relationship. We meet about once a month when he comes to my hometown where he has an apartment.
    Everyone of your threads start exactly like that and then go into some shitting thing that you've imagined he's done or he has done and dazzled you with his lies so you stick around for more abuse. Why? What loving actions does he show you that makes you stay for more disrespect? N.B. Sex does not count as a loving action if that's the only attention you're getting from him.

    Why does he have an apartment that he only visits once a month?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  3. #3
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    We are concerned about you Laurici, because it seems you cannot see a bad relationship for what it is, and when it ends, you will be hurt more than if you got out earlier. Plus you will be more jaded the more time you spend with this guy, who doesn't seem right for you.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  4. #4
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    Don't ask us ask him

  5. #5
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    She did ask him... he obviously lied like a rug and now she's here once more looking for reasons why she should ignore her gut once again.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #6
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    Based on your other threads and this one too I'd say this relationship isn't worth any more of your time. This guy is not right for you! If you have a gut feeling something is up and also based on how he treats you then you should get out of this relationship before you spend more time being worried or hurt.

  7. #7
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    yes he is cheating on you. You can believe that he hasn't cleaned his room for a year.....but c'mon, you can't be that naive can ya?

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