First, my boyfriend is the worst at keeping in contact.
People have different levels of frequent contact. His comfortable level happens to be less than yours. With me and my gf, I want to see her more, but she is busy, so she needs some space and since we talked about it, I understand why she needs her space.
Second, I recently found out that a week or two before we got together my boyfriend was talking to and went to see his ex. My immediate thought when I heard that was, "Oh, so I was the backup plan. Great."
Obviously, it's my own insecurities creeping up.
Not necessarily. Guys should not be contacting their ex, as it usually means they want to do something with them. The ex should be off limits to both guys and girls. Just so things don't get complicated and feelings don't get hurt.
I have several ex's. There is no reason for me to contact them. We are not together because we were not compatible enough. End of story. There's no reason for me to contact them. I don't want to see them and they don't want to see me. Although one ex I am friendly with, she is in another country. And I tell my gf when I contact her, I have no secrets with my gf. And that's how I do relationships. I don't want to get back with her, but she is one of those very nice people I like to say "hi" to once in a while. This is actually the first ex I have stayed in contact with in my whole life.
I don't want to start any unnecessary drama, so should I just hold it back and try to move on, or should I bring this up?
Why bring it up? He contacted his ex once, right? And that's it? And you have confirmation that was it. What good could possibly come of this if you bring it up now? Don't bring it up yet. If it happens again and you have confirmation from a third party, then casually ask him about it, but don't get all drama about it.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
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