First, nothing wrong with a one-night stand as long as both people clearly know what it is.
I was looking to head straight to bed - why did he not take the hint and leave??
Because your post gave no evidence you actually told him to leave. If you just drop vague hints, but don't communicate directly, you're going to have problems.
Finally, I announced I wasn't interested in on sexual intercourse afterall. He joined me in bed anyway ??? huh??
I see no evidence in your original post that you asked him to leave. It's about your communication again. Communicate clearly and directly, but be polite. The exact words you used would be helpful here.
One thing led to another and he got me off. All the while he was gagging for it but I told him once again his penis was going nowhere near or inside my vag.
Was I unkind to rather selfishly get my rocks off and leave him hanging?
Yes, you were very selfish. No woman would stand for that. Why should a man?
It seems to go like so: if we women get what we want on our terms - we are unfeminine, aggressive, cold-hearted or sluts.. so often times, we'll compromise our desires/pleasure to fulfil those of some selfish someone that, will not think twice about finding out what we wanted long after he has cum. I am not that woman. I knew and know exactly what I want and how I wanted to feel. So there..
I have no problem with you asking for what you want. But he wanted something, I'm not sure if you invited him in or he invited himself in, but anyway, you let him in, you didn't tell him clearly to get out, which is the same as inviting him in, and you got something, and he didn't. That was selfish.
I also prefer women who are aggressive, and have confidence, and know what they want. It's very attractive to me.
I'm not gonna lie - I am in complete lust with that night. I have had good sex but never that satisfying with him... So my mini dilemma is - as I am persuing more serious suitors for LTR should I get into a FWB with this dude?
That is your decision. If you had fun, why not continue the fun for a while? As you get to know him, he might turn out to be a very nice guy. Or not. I say, dating more people is better, or whatever you want to call it, because that helps you get experience which helps you determine what you want in a LTR.
Last edited by bulrush; 12-01-12 at 11:07 PM.
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)