Can anyone help me? I keep getting upset for some reason...

[Achilles]

Me and my girlfriend went out to the city for a day trip, but whilst there we had an argument seemingly about nothing (we were lost and VERY tired). At one point we parted ways for about 5/10 minutes and I was left in this city on my own thinking I don't really need to be dealing with this. I've never been one to look at other girls when in a relationship but it kind of felt like we had split up and I looked around at all these girls (not perving on them) thinking I wouldn't have these problems with them.

We've been going out for about a year and both in our mid-20s.

My girlfriend and I soon made up and we were heading back home. This was a week ago today, and since then I've been feeling quite panicked and I don't know why. I love her so much, and she's so brilliant for me, but I get edgy when making plans far in advance. I really miss her when I'm away from her but when I'm with her I feel as though something is wrong. Like I shouldn't be with her or something. My psyical atraction for her as really gone since this argument but I still enjoy her company.

What's wrong with me? It feels as though I don't know what I'm doing. When I'm not with her I miss her so much, but when I'm with her I just feel sad and wonder if we would be better off with other people instead.

I've asked my girlfriend how she feels and she said she said we're still not as close as we were before the argument, but she doesn't feel this edgy feeling or anything.

Is there something wrong with me? I can't seem to keep track of my emotions. I just keep getting really upset all the time.

[bcgirl]

What's wrong with me? It feels as though I don't know what I'm doing. When I'm not with her I miss her so much, but when I'm with her I just feel sad and wonder if we would be better off with other people instead.

you are actually very normal. This is what most people feel when a relationship is nearing it's end, or you deep down know that this relationship is not going to work in the long run. You love this girl because u have history with her, you've been with her for a year so it's going to be a bit emotional and tough to totally part ways, you are comfortable with her so thats why when you are apart from her you miss her because you miss the good times, the comfort, the history shared together.....but when you are with her, you don't because it brings you back to the realization that you two need to break up. If you two keep having problems and you find yourself constantly having arguments, then you two need to either 1) go to couples therapy and work it out 2) break up and go no contact (meaning don't talk to each other again and can't stay friends)

That is why breaking up with a loved one is so tough and hard for most people....that is why there are forums like this one. It's because conflicting emotions like the one you are having messes with our heads and our hearts.

[bulrush]

And sometimes people have doubts for no apparent factual reason. It's called hormones. So you had a fight. Do you fight often? Does it bother you? Even if you find someone perfectly compatible with you, you two will disagree on things, so the question becomes, how do you fight? Do you try to prove yourself right and the other person is wrong? That's a bad way to go about it.

A better way is to accept that the other person simply has different views, and you still love each other, and things will be ok.

[smackie9]

If you want to make it work, you need to give each other space. Sometime when a couple spends all their time together, they will start to grate on each others nerves. It's not good to spend so much time together.....you need a life outside the relationship, to go do your own thing and be independent in order to keep a good balance in a relationship. I personally think you two are smothering each other, and you are both just trying to breath. Why not set aside two to three times a week to go out on your own, go clubbing, play a sport, sit around with the guys and have a few beers....then see if there is any positive changes in how you two feel about each other.

[Achilles]

I wouldn't say we argue often. And we don't normally blame anyone when arguments happen, but we usually end up apologising and moving on without blaming anyone.

Are we really on the verge of breaking up? I've been really looking forward to seeing her. When we're together I love to hug and hold her as I always did, but it's the sexual side I have trouble with, perhaps because for some reason I'm not feeling very happy. Over Christmas we spent lots of time together, seeing each other almost every day, and when we don't see each other we still end up talking on the phone for around 2 hours every day. But I still have ample time to myself, to do my own thing and continue with my hobbies.

The thing is I want it to work. I don't want it to be over. She's so amazing and I couldn't ask for anything else out of a relationship. I hate what I'm doing to her.

Thanks for your help so far guys.

[smackie9]

Usually people who argue about nothing have a deeper issue that they are not revealing. Sit down with her and discuss what couble be triggering these arguements.....just remember to keep your kool and keep an open mind.

[bcgirl]

perhaps you love her but you are not totally "in love" with her anymore. No one is at fault, sometimes that's just the way it is