Girlfriend had an affair - 9 months later she still checks his Facebook everyday

[WalkOverMe]

That's why every immediate reaction in here is to break up with her - because none of us would want that to keep happening.

I'm glad to hear that. It reassures me that I'm not paranoid and that it's not okay for your girlfriend to check up on the guy everyday that she cheated on me with.

[Cerulean.]

Oh please say you are going to rid yourself from this nonsense. She scares me. The fact that she's THAT obsessed over that guy and his every move on facebook, and his gf, and every person new that he adds. That right there would make me want to get far away as possible. Especially since she's pretty much sh*tting all over you and just using you for comfort of having a male around. You deserve so much better than that. Find someone who will love you 100% and is committed to YOU ONLY. Find someone who is secure and honest with you. All this relationship is with this person you're with is just a lie. Truly.

[Wakeup]

If you don't want to leave her and you're unhappy to the point that you come to a forum board to get advice on how to be happy in an unhappy situation, then it is your responsibility to let her know that her emotional attachment, obesession to this man is something that is totally disrespecting you and yours and hers union and let her know how it hurts you that she isn't doing ANYTHING to get over this man who dumped her, who didn't want her in his life yet she clings to anything that keeps him in her life somehow.

She needs to know that her behaviour is not healthy, that in order for her to get over him she needs to go cold turkey withdrawl from her addiction of creeping him and then put all that energy of thoughts into you and her and not him.

Then after that all you can do is hope she understands where you're coming from and does her best to quit the insanity.
If she does nothing to rid herself of her addiction then you need just as much help as she does to get over yours (her) who cares not much for you yet you stay.

Good luck.

[bcgirl]

you know what.....it may seem like the total end of the world just thinking about breaking up with her. But trust me.....it's not. I remember feeling the way you did when the thought of having to break up with my ex arose. I thought it would be impossible to live on. I thought i'd have to move country to get away. I thought i'd cry forever or become depressed forever or never fall in love again etc. etc. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Things do get better. And one day you will look back and she will just be a distant memory. You will give your lovely wife a kiss and thank the lord that you never ended up married to that B8tch that took you for granted.

[angelsnairwaves]

I want to know why you dont stand up for yourself. You ARE her second choice. She is STILL cheating on you- emotionally. Stop being in denial. Face the facts. She isnt truly sorry. Saying sorry means you wont do it again. She KEEPS stalking him. Get a clue, dude. She doesnt love you the way you love her. She definitely doesn't respect you. And she might be obsessed with this guy but you are obsessed with her. Checking her history all the time. This isnt healthy and hasnt been healthy for a long time. She has made it clear that she isnt sorry, doesnt love or respect you. Now what are YOU going to do about it? Settle? I hope not.

[angelsnairwaves]

Bottom line, you cant control her, her emotions, or her actions. She says she loves you but her actions say the opposite. You need to either decide that you are okay with being her second choice or you need to decide that you deserve better and move on. She hasnt changed yet and she isnt going to. You are a sad case if you decide to stay.

[IamTHATguy]

Wow, i'm not expert or know tons about relationships, like some people on here.

But what i will say is this, i think you're way too good for her, for you to show so much patience and love towards her even though she's technically betraying you everyday makes you a good guy, and you shouldn't have to tolerate what she's putting you through.
Best of luck with what you do.

[cathy22]

she might be a nice person, but she's a person with a problem. -It's time to move on with your life.

[IndiReloaded]

Threesome? Seriously, if she's this obsessed then that's about your only option if you insist on staying w/her.

Although... maybe you should find some gal to become obsessed over. Sauce for the goose and all that. Make sure you deliberately flaunt your new gal. Maybe it will shock your GF into realizing what she's doing.

[Love'sReject]

Slap the bitch and then dump her. Slap yourself, too, for being kinda stupid. Sorry, bro, but that's the truth.

[Wakeup]

I confronted her about everything and she finally came clean. She told me how sorry she is etc. After many arguments, I told her I can forgive her and move on, all I am asking for is that she deletes that guy from Facebook and never checks up on him. She told me that this is the least she will do.

I feel very sad for you that "the least she could do" she hasn't even done.

Take yourself out of her life. If you don't you'll be her soft place to land once again when the next guy she has a fling with dumps her.

If you insist on staying with her (why?) while she's still very much infatuated with the lust aspect of their relationship then I suggest you get couples councelling.

[Over The Fence]

Thread is from February 2012, not sure where you dug this up from LR!

Closed.