Originally Posted by
MenCanScissor
I kind of assume it is a really bad idea. And I suppose it is certainly a form of cheating. I had mostly unselfishly told her that if she wasn't happy with her boyfriend, she should break up with him, instead of just not taking much interest in her relationship. It didn't seem fair to him, and he was pretty much blowing her off constantly anyway. She and her boyfriend ended up breaking up over the weekend. But I won't be pursuing her as a girlfriend whatsoever. Now that she's single, even though I'm a attracted to her and like her very much, I'm not sure that it would be a good idea to go after her physically at all. It's very hard to resist the temptation though.
So many threads on here from guys like you who realized too late they had a thing for their female friend--but only once the gal started dating someone else.
Whatever you want to call it--love, connection, etc--its clear you two are more than just friends. To put it bluntly: friends don't want to **** friends. So my advice is: if you are a good friend, you want to be careful you don't end up being her rebound clown. I think that it would be a shame to make turn a good friendship into a no-strings thing, aside from the high chance one of you will end up shredded if you go that route.
My advice is to spend time with her, no sex just a gradual step up in romance. Get to know each other in this new light and explore how it fits with what you already are to each other. If you are truly friends, you'll take care not to hurt each other. It make take several weeks/months, but eventually you, together, should be able t decide whether to take things to a physical, longer term relationship or just remain friends. If you end up in bed tho, I can almost guarantee the friendship ends. Some doors are one-way only. Depends how important it really is to you, I guess.
Good luck.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh