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Thread: Feel like my GF isn't supporting me

  1. #1
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    Feel like my GF isn't supporting me

    I've had a serious problem with alcohol. 11 days ago I admitted to my GF that I had this problem. I was completely honest and open with her - at long last. I"ve been to AA meetings. I'm away at the moment staying at my mums house. I still communicate with GF via FB chat and email. Not once in those 11 days has she said things like 'well done for giving up the booze' or 'I'm proud of you'.
    I feel really pissed off because I don't feel that she's supporting me at all. I know she was pissed off with my drinking and that's one of the big reasons which I gave up drinking.
    How do I handle this because I"m starting to feel resentful towards her.

  2. #2
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    You should be quitting drinking for you, not her. It's true that she could be a bit more supportive, but maybe it's just a bit too early for her. In any case, you shouldn't rely on her or do it for her.

    Congratulations on taking a major step and facing this btw, takes a lot and I'm sure you can pull through it.

  3. #3
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    I'm doing it for me, for my kids, for my relationship with my GF, for my mum. But primarily for me. I can do this without her support because I"m am absolutely bloody determined. BUT, it would be nice if she were more supportive. I try to support her in all she does after all.

  4. #4
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    I'd give her a bit more time, maybe she just needs to see more progress. It's hard for people who don't suffer from an addiction to understand what it takes to go deal with it. Give her some time. If you still feel that way further down the road you should talk about it.

  5. #5
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    You haven't quit drinking for very long. Do you think that maybe she doesn't quite yet believe that you mean it. I suspect when she sees that you are as determined as you say you are, then she will tell you in words how proud she is of you. If you've told her you'll quit before but you haven't (?) well then, that would be even more reason why she's not giving you verbal validation at this point.

    Keep up the good work and take pride in what you're doing without her words of encouragment. Afterall, if you really mean what you're saying (that you're doing it for you because drinking has enfluenced your life negatively) then the facts speak for themselves without the need for outside encouragement (although we all know how nice words from others can be)

    You may want to speak to someone at AA about this. They'll be able to councel you with personal insight so that you don't self-sabotage. An example of you self-sabotaging would be you saying to yourself "well she doesn't care one way or the other so I might as well be drinking."

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