My situation- Very interesting

[tinantx]

Ok you guys are NOT going to like me. I am a very selfish person. However, I think most people are and they do not realize it. I'm okay with you being honest and calling me names or telling me how bad of a person I am. That's your opinion and you have the right to it. Just know that you are wrong. Anyway here is my situation:

I'm Married.

That's it. Huge problem huh? Anyone? How can I fix this? lol No. I'm kidding. There is more. (Sigh.)


I married this man 2 years ago. I married him because I thought it was what I should do. I didn't really feel that I wanted to. Anyway, so we got married. He gained weight. I was not sexually attracted to him at all anymore. This made me resent him. I begin sneaking around dating a man. At first, we had a little sexual fun outside of intercourse. However, soon we realized we needed to stop. So .. we remained friends. Friends that hung out Every.Single.Night. We didn't kiss. We didn't touch. We were going to do the right thing. He's a lot older than me. Much much older. Eventually, I fell in love with him. I couldn't bear being around him without kissing him, or touching him. I thought that my marriage was going downhill anyway, so I went ahead and told my husband I wanted a divorce. By this time, he knew what I was doing. I assured him that there was no sex involved though. A month later, he left. At that point, the man and I were officially together. We started having sex. It has now been 1 year since I started "dating" this man and 5 months since we have been a couple.

I care about this man very much. But for some reason it isn't working. He doesn't show enough affection. He doesn't make me feel like his girlfriend. I also feel like he only enjoys some aspects of the relationship. Maybe the discussions that we have. Maybe the fact that he can call, text, email or see me anytime he wants to. So he feels like he has something. Also, probably that he can have sex anytime he wants to. Now, this does not make him a bad guy. These are normal reasons to want to be in a relationship. Right? Right. There probably just isn't a lot of love there. Which is okay. Love grows. It doesn't just hatch.

Here is my dilemma. My husband came over last night. Yes. I cheated on my boyfriend with my husband. lol You know it's funny!! Come on. We had THE BEST sex I have EVER had. We spent 4 hours four playing. And I don't want to give you TMI but it was like a porn video. Perfect. OMG. I felt absolutely comfortable with him. I let loose. I let him see every part of my body and my mind. Every fantasy. Is this love? Or is this comfort? Does this mean there is something left? Who knows. I'de like to know what you guys think about this. I know. I know. I'm dirty for cheating on my bf with my hubby. I'm dirty for having a boyfriend when I'm not yet divorced. You know what I think? I think not. I think that love and lust, and a connection with someone is beautiful. And sometimes you just can't help it. It is ultimately up to an individual to decide what the "right" thing is. I may not have found love yet. But when I do, I may be less willing to cheat. Now you have heard my situation. Any opinions are welcome. Nothing religious please and Thanks.

[surfhb]

Good Afternoon cunting whore!!

[tinantx]

lol. You're a moron.

[chasesummer]

Your husband probably did that just to get back at the guy that did it to him. Did he say that he wanted you back? Or did he just come over and you opened the door and started banging?

[tinantx]

lol no. He definitely wants me back. I just know. I invited him over to hang out. We listened to music. It got real late.. so he stayed the night. One thing lead to the next and the next and the next... lol.

[IndiReloaded]

Good Afternoon cunting whore!! :-)

Best answer here^.

Lots of people get married for the experience, not b/c the vows mean anything to them. Its the ideal we aspire to and most can't attain it. So you've discovered you suck at marriage--shrug. You're selfish by your own admittance so you probably won't listen but: please don't have children. That's all. Otherwise, you, your husband and anyone else you get involved with can screw up your own adult lives as much as you please.

[Drew91]

So you pretty much just get off on the thrill of going behind their backs, the chance you could get caught. Doesn't have anything to do with them or the relationship it has to do with you

[tinantx]

So you pretty much just get off on the thrill of going behind their backs, the chance you could get caught. Doesn't have anything to do with them or the relationship it has to do with you

Do I get off by it? No. Does it have to do with me? Yes. Thank you for reminding me how screwed up this world still is. People go from lover to lover. It's natural. Calling someone a whore over the internet must give you all some sort of feeling of pleasure. That's disgusting. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a lover. Yes cheating can lead to failed relationships but obviously they were going to fail to begin with. I felt the need to cheat for some reason. First of all a Whore is someone who gets paid for their sexual duties. It is natural to fall in and out of love with people. It happens all of the time. Cheating may cause trouble in a relationship but these things happen. Most of you have cheated. It's true. Statistics say so. So at least half of you calling me a whore have cheated at one point in your lives. How does it feel to be hypocrites? And how the hell is LOVE wrong or dirty. For that matter how is SEX wrong or dirty?

[gardenofjade]

what else do you have in your relationships beside sex?

[tinantx]

what else do you have in your relationships beside sex?

I have a lot more than sex in my relationships. Yes. I may be messed up but so is everyone else. I'm not saying that I want to cheat. I'm saying that these things DO happen. That is all that I am saying. People fall in love. This is actually the first time I have cheated. I'm not saying that I SHOULD cheat. I'm just saying that these situations DO occur. People fall in and out of love. It's normal. It's natural. You should not judge someone for doing something that comes natural. I am certainly not going to pretend to love someone and care for someone when I do not. I DID end my marriage before continuing with the relationship. Now, right now my boyfriend and I are having some issues. We are probably not going to make it as a couple. I know this. I believe he knows this. He just wont admit it. I have tried breaking up with him and he just gives me reasons to stay. This makes it difficult. THINGS HAPPEN. And yes I do think you are messed up because you are calling someone on the internet a whore. Someone whom you have never met. You don't even know the entire situation. Your little minds are just going CHEATER CHEATER PUMPKIN EATER!!! lol. Grow up. This is the REAL world. REAL things happen. Everyone is faced with these sort of issues at some time in their lives. Get over yourselves. You obviously have relationship issues or YOU wouldn't be here. Most of you will read this and realize that I am right. None of you will admit it. It's sad that we live in such a world. I'm a whore because I felt that I no longer loved my husband. I found a friend that I fell in love with. Things are not going that well right now. My husband came over. Things Happen. Get a grip.

[gardenofjade]

Dude. What else is in the relationship? All you talk about is sex and cheating. That's really shallow.

[tinantx]

Now, that the children have been taken care of, would the adults like to talk now?

[tinantx]

There IS more to the relationships. I just haven't brought that up because I've only made one post since you guys started calling me a whore. That's when I began to talk about sex. Idiot.

[Drew91]

I have a lot more than sex in my relationships. Yes. I may be messed up but so is everyone else. I'm not saying that I want to cheat. I'm saying that these things DO happen. That is all that I am saying. People fall in love. This is actually the first time I have cheated. I'm not saying that I SHOULD cheat. I'm just saying that these situations DO occur. People fall in and out of love. It's normal. It's natural. You should not judge someone for doing something that comes natural. I am certainly not going to pretend to love someone and care for someone when I do not. I DID end my marriage before continuing with the relationship. Now, right now my boyfriend and I are having some issues. We are probably not going to make it as a couple. I know this. I believe he knows this. He just wont admit it. I have tried breaking up with him and he just gives me reasons to stay. This makes it difficult. THINGS HAPPEN. And yes I do think you are messed up because you are calling someone on the internet a whore. Someone whom you have never met. You don't even know the entire situation. Your little minds are just going CHEATER CHEATER PUMPKIN EATER!!! lol. Grow up. This is the REAL world. REAL things happen. Everyone is faced with these sort of issues at some time in their lives. Get over yourselves. You obviously have relationship issues or YOU wouldn't be here. Most of you will read this and realize that I am right. None of you will admit it. It's sad that we live in such a world. I'm a whore because I felt that I no longer loved my husband. I found a friend that I fell in love with. Things are not going that well right now. My husband came over. Things Happen. Get a grip.

I'll admit it, I have cheated once before, several years ago. Yea stuff does happen. But your talking about having married a man you didn't have feeling for, then cheating on him. After realizing it was wrong you comtinued to act inappropriately and then after you ended the marriage you cheated in your next relationship. Get off your high horse, yea other people are messed up too but thinking that somehow makes what your doing ok is screwed logic

[tinantx]

My husband cares about me a lot. As I do him. I'm still not that sexually attracted to him. However, I feel that I can be myself around him. I feel that way with only him. We have something very special. However, My BF and I do as well. The only problem is that he is not that emotionally affectionate. He doesn't express his feelings very often. But we love hanging out and we share the same views. Religious and political. He is very intellectual as am I. We have a lot of fun. I just don't feel that comfortable with him. This is probably due to the fact that we haven't been together that long. Now, what should I do? Should I tell my BF what has happened?