I need some advice... this is a complicated story.
I'm 31 and engaged to a 38 year old girl, we've been together for 4.5 years
now
We're do to get married on the 5 year anniversary of our first date in October
She's a great girl and does a lot for me
When we met we lived about an hour away from each other... after some time
I moved
in with her and was commuting by train to work and back for about a year ..
She then got a job in the same city as me so we started commuting together
for about another year or so
We finally decided to move closer to work and bought a house together ...
well her dad basically financed it for us... that was a year and a half
ago.... right around the time we decided to get engaged.
Anyway, she's older obviously and we don't have a lot of the same
interests ...
She treats me good most of the time but honestly all we ever do together is
watch a bit of tv once in a while and make dinner together etc
Other than that it's me downstairs playing video games while she works
overtime on the computer upstairs for work
It got way out of hand ... she was working 70-80 hour weeks and getting
paid 0 extra for her efforts .. she's never taken a sick day ...
(even after I've asked her to take a day off with me she always says she
will but something always comes up)
Anyway it got to the point where I just got really depressed and kind of
crawled into a shell where all my life has become is going to work, coming
home and playing games while she works away on the computer
I feel like she puts everything before me, everything is more important to
her than making me happy it seems
I've talked to her about it countless times and she always says it's going
to change but never has
I feel like she thinks I'm an idiot... she always questions everything I do
and never really takes anything I say seriously
My 30th birthday was a real eye opener for me
My 30th birthday (was a saturday) she asked me what I would like to
do...
She asked if I wanted to go anywhere or do anything special and I said that
I did not ... All I wanted her to do was to make me some stuffed peppers
for dinner
I didn't think it was too much to ask but apparently it was
Long story short I ended up spending my entire 30th birthday downstairs
playing video games alone .. and even had to make myself a can of soup to eat
for dinner while she worked away day and night doing overtime for her work
on our computer
I told her the next day how disappointed I was and she promised she would
stop working so much
On the Monday she said she would make me my stuffed peppers... instead she
wrote me to say she was going to work a little late
I lost it
I went in to her work and lost my mind on her in front of her whole office
She was more embarrassed that I did that than she was concerned about how
this was making me feel
Ever since then things have changed
I ended up meeting a girl online while playing games one day a few
months later
I wasn't trying to meet anyone it just kind of happened
She lives about 10 minutes from me and we decided to hang out one day
It's so much fun whenever I'm with her... we haven't really done anything sexually
but I can't help to think what it would be like
She likes all the same things I do ... including sex and she talks about it all the
time and what she would like to do with me
It was very refreshing change since I always have to initiate everything with my fiancee
and even then I always end up doing all the work and she basically just goes
along with it to make me happy but doesn't seem to enjoy it very much ever which is
a real pride killer and makes me feel even worse
The new girl is 24 and thinks the world of me ... She would do anything for me and
worships the ground I walk on
She left her boyfriend in hopes that we could be together even though I
told her not to and that I wasn't sure what I was going to end up doing
I told me fiancee about her and she lost her mind but kind of understood where I was
coming from and how we got to this point
I know she loves me and I love her but it doesn't seem like the kind of love 2 people
should have for each other that are supposed to be getting married soon
I made the decision to stay with my fiancee and try and make things work
and she has finally stopped working as much overtime and spending more time
with me
The problem is the other girl still obsesses over me and I really like her
a lot
She understands where I'm at I think even better than I do
She has since gotten back together with her boyfriend but we still talk everyday
Her boyfriend also knows about me ... it's caused quite a strain on both of our relationships
I'm worried that my fiancee is just putting on a show now that she realises
she might lose me if she didn't change her ways
I'm worried that after we get married things will go back to the way they
were and I will spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been
with the other girl who thinks so much of me
We've got a pretty good life together... we've got 2 cats, a dog and a nice house
I don't want to just throw it all away in hopes that being with this new girl is going to make me happy
and find out later that I was wrong
I really don't know what I should do at this point
Do I just suck it up and go along for the ride and get married and hope things end up working out
or do I leave and try being happy with this new girl?
What should I do ?