Am I too fussy?

[harleynight]

I`ve been on a few dates in the last few months, and it seems that all the guys I meet, have either just been out of a relationship, aren`t stable or just want one thing. Am I too fussy? And how can I attract a more stable man? One that actually has a job and is financially stable.

[pisces25]

How old are you?

[harleynight]

I am 40, why?

[pisces25]

Just curious to see what phase of life you are at. Anyway no you're not too fussy, relationships are all about timing. Why the need for financial stability though?

[vashti]

Why the need for financial stability though?

You can't be serious.

lol

[pisces25]

What, you can't fall in love with someone that doesn't have money?

[vashti]

What, you can't fall in love with someone that doesn't have money?

Being financially stable doesn't necessarily mean you "have money". It means you are responsible with it.

People with money are also subject to financial instability. Look at all the affluent people losing their homes with the current economy.

But to answer your question more directly, no. I would not be able to fall in love with someone who had absolutely no money.

[bcgirl]

it's good to be selective and a bit picky. You don't want to settle. Settling causes much more problems in a relationship down the road.

and it seems that all the guys I meet, have either just been out of a relationship, aren`t stable or just want one thing.

i would never settle for a guy who have any of these qualities. I think most people would agree that they wouldn't want a potential bf/gf to posses these qualities either.

Someone who just got out of a relationship = looking for a rebound, not ready to date yet due to emotional baggage = problems in relationship down the road

unstable = emotionally unstable people are obvious red flags in a relationship and it's obvious where a relationship will lead down the road. Financially instability, well the #1 reason why couples divorce is due to money.

Only after sex = slut and nobody wants to date a slut. Hey it's okay if you are just looking for a good time and one night stands....but if you want commitment and the other person just wants sex, this won't work at all.

You are actually being "Smart" not "fussy". You are avoiding all those potential posts we see everyday on this forum like "my bf has commitment issues" or "my bf is still hung up about his ex".

[Beth]

Being financially stable doesn't necessarily mean you "have money". It means you are responsible with it.

People with money are also subject to financial instability. Look at all the affluent people losing their homes with the current economy.

I have to agree with this, my parents were millionaires and now they're on benefits!

[vashti]

I am 40, why?

In my experience, men in your age range are either married, bums, or looking at 20 year olds.

[greentea11]

No you're not too fussy. I think people settle too easy a lot. It's better to be alone than be with the wrong person. Plus what if you are with the wrong person and the right person comes? I think the things you want are very good ideals and important to you. If you don't have them with someone it will only cause problems later, so why do it? It's hard to say how to attract the right person. You'd really have to look at what places you meet these people, how you act or react to things or what you wear. I had a friend who always wore low cut shirts. She sleeps with guys really fast and then she wonders why all the guys she is with only want to use her and never stick around long. They couldn't put up with her attitude problems, only long enough to sleep with her a couple times and then leave for another girl. But anyways, maybe you are just having some bad luck. Don't give up on those virtues. There's nothing wrong with wanting those things. As long as you're not a gold digger lol

[Mathias]

In my experience, men in your age range are either married, bums, or looking at 20 year olds.

What about 29 year old unmarried men?

[vashti]

What about 29 year old unmarried men?

Too young for me. Dammit. hah!

[harleynight]

Because I'm not supporting anyone, I've done it but not willing to do it again.

[harleynight]

You are exactly right.