"How many dates until a relationship" thread

[Distiller]

Yeah, I know this gets posted a lot, and I was even able to find some advice on other forums through a Google search, but I wanted some fresh input, and I wanted to state my situation a little bit more specifically.

I met a new girl about 3 and a half weeks ago. I'm 23, she's 21, going on 22. We met at a punk rock bar, which is something we are both very much into. I got her number and then asked her out for the following weekend. When we went out, we found out that we have a crazy amount of things in common. Into all the same rare music, movies, books, etc, which is hard finding someone with such subcultural interests. We went out a few other times and had a lot of fun each time. Our first kiss was on our second date, and our third was just the other night. (Not including the night we met.) On our third date, we were able to snuggle and cuddle, and kiss at will without any awkwardness or hesistation. We're going out tomorrow night again for our 4th official date, 5th night out total including the night we met. Tomorrow we will be going to a restaurant, which will be a great opportunity to sit down and get to know her even more, similar to our first date. I've already met her family as well.

So the question is, if you were in my situaton, when (how many more dates) would you ask the question to make things official? I'm not asking to marry her or anything, but I'd like to be able to call her my girlfriend, because I really do like her a lot, and don't exactly get interested very easily, so she is someone special.

[thiudiskr]

It kind of sounds like you're already in a relationship. I wouldn't worry about asking her - just assume that you're in an exclusive relationship and in a few weeks you can start referring to her as your girlfriend or however you want.

[dnna1]

This sounds like you have been in the relationship

[jeffcallahan]

There is no magic number.

[John12]

Yeah, it sounds like you have been

[loveabides]

There is no set time limit and do NOT assume anything. You can't make that decision for her. What you can do is ask her if she would like to date you exclusively. Let her know that you're very interested in a relationship and what your intentions are, but do not force a relationship on her because you just ASSume you have one. If she gets upset by your asking, that should speak volumes to you.

[jeffcallahan]

Loveabides is right, DO NOT ASSUME that you two are in a relationship. The best thing that you can do is let her know what you want. Be forthcoming with your desires, but non-needy.

[bulrush]

You are not in a relationship until the two of you talk about being exclusive with each other.

[Boisdevie]

You are not in a relationship until the two of you talk about being exclusive with each other.

Not always. If fact since the age of 24 I've been in relationships with women and never EVER had this 'exclusive' talk. I always assumed once we were having sex it was kind of implicit.

[Mathias]

Not always. If fact since the age of 24 I've been in relationships with women and never EVER had this 'exclusive' talk. I always assumed once we were having sex it was kind of implicit.

You'll screw yourself over one day, and then you'll be preaching what bulrush says like the rest of us.

[Bush1]

Yes, sex is addictive. But, look like your relationship has been.

[Bella1]

Sounds like your relationship has always been there.

[Dry Spell1]

Thanks for your post

[Anna12]

Yes, I quite agree to your point of view.