I thought Long Distance was Supposed to be Hard

[acrossfromme]

My finace has been taking work across the country. We would be together for a month and then he would leave for two weeks, repeat. Usually this was Very hard on me. I would cry, send a million text messages and always arrange chats on the computer. This time I don't know how I feel.

We started together in a long distance relationship and he moved across the country to be with me after we got engaged, but has neglected to look for work in the city we now live in, which is why he travels across the country for work. It used to feel very emotionally straining for him to leave and tore me to pieces, and I had asked him and tried helping him find work in our city, but he would never do it or let me help. It was a constant fight and was what started months and months of fights.

Almost a month ago he told me he was leaving for longer than usual, almost two months, rather than the two weeks. I was crushed. Then I started to find messages on his phone that he was sending to girls back in the city he used to live in, which were flirty and left me wounded. He started to hide his phone from me and I even found a message chain on facebook, between him and his old girlfriend "back home" talking about how she wished he would have moved for her, and his response was that he would have, and how their relationship could have gone on longer. He denyed all of these messages, and quickly deleted them.

Then he left, and there was no heart ache or emotional strain.In fact, I found myself feeling better, happier and less interested in messaging him or taking time from my daily activities to include him. It has almost been two months and I don't know if I want him to come back. Should I see what happens when he comes back or should I nip this relationship in the butt and move on before I get emotionally involved again?

Help.

Thanks.

[Jeff12]

I think I can learn to join you slowly.