To contact ex or not to contact ex?

[Twiz]

It's been 2 weeks since my boyfriend broke up with me. He called me 4 days after it happened and it was confusing and sort of frustrating. 3 days after that I texted him and the conversation was also just frustrating. It's been NC for a week.

I still feel the desire to sort of talk to him sometimes but I know it's probably not a good idea, he broke my heart so me reaching out to him isn't right, I think. I deleted him from facebook I think 4 days ago and he didn't seem to notice/care.


I kind of want to talk to sort of clarify how I hadn't felt the relationship was working out either, before he dumped me I had doubts too. But it's been a week with no contact, I know I should keep moving forward or that it'd be even ridiculous and a waste of time perhaps, but it'd sort of be like closure.

Should I wait and see if he contacts me first?

[RamblinMan]

Dont, you got to just move on...its hurts to say but im going through the same thing. She showered with sweet nothings, made me believe she will stay and never leave. thought she was different...then all of a sudden she feels me and then doesnt...sometimes you think you were the lucky one to have em, but in reality they were the lucky one.

[Twiz]

That's what happened to me. He made me think everything was fine, was still being sweet, even said we'd be together that day, acting as if it was all normal even all up til the point he ended it.

It was so confusing.
I accepted it though. Even though naturally after being with him for 2 years I miss him sometimes, despite everything else I dealt with in the relationship or how bad I was feeling lately with him too, despite my own doubts if it was working... I realized I miss the idea OF him and having someone to love/be with in that way, But I DO NOT miss how he treated me or how I'd feel.

So I try to stay positive and keep moving on. It's had ups an downs. I haven't cried though for a little over a week maybe, I plan on keeping it that way. It's definitely hard though, cause I'll want to talk sometimes. It takes a LOT of willpower but I have to remind myself why it's best that I don't and remember that he's the one that left me, so me chasing him would only giving him an ego boost more than he deserves.

I was thinking how possibly in the future if he ever tried contacting me, which I doubt (he was always so stubborn and even if he did regret anything he'd probably just force himself to rationalize why he was "right" anyway) I might consider talking to him about how I really felt too. Given time to reflect I realized how it wasn't a very good relationship, for both of us. Even 3 weeks before it ended I myself had some concerns and was questioning everything so I'd discuss that. I feel like even trying to talk might be a waste of time though, possibly best to just move on and forget it all like I have been. Though I know sometimes it's just best to let go. I had cared about him though, wish him the best, want him to be happy. I am working on being happy for myself. But some day possibly discussing everything honestly might provide some understanding. Either way, if he contacted me or not, I'd be just fine.

I was thinking about saying something to him though, but the idea in my head has been a mix of "NO! That's a completely stupid idea, you're already working so well on not talking to him and moving on, just forget him" then the other part says "but it'd sort of give closure to say how even I think it's best" but then "regardless of closure, it's over either way"... It goes back and forth.

[Jason250]

it is amazing!