Guys - please tell me I'm being silly.

[Muiin1]

OK, so I'm in a very good loving relationship. We've been together for about 6months now (dating 9) and we've had ups and downs like anyone else but we're both still very much in love and attracted to each other.

However, there's a side to my boyfriend that unsettles me. Whenever I talk about the future, no matter how far in the future he seems to get uneasy and aggravated. I can understand when I sometimes get mushy over a TV show and say "aaawwww our wedding will be better" ha! But here's an odd one, we're moving in together this summer and I told him how much I was looking forward to it and being a cute domestic couple and going to the nearby park he was like "come on, we are only 20. Just calm down." :-/ so... That was weird.

Whenever I've have asked him (twice) about where he sees our relationship going he says he hates planning too far into the future and we should just move in together and take things as they come.

Why does he get so reticent to talking about a future with me. I hope I'm just being a crazy bitch and he doesn't have an expiry date on our relationship.

TY boys

[Boisdevie]

You have only been together for six months. Perhaps you're going faster than he's comfortable with? Perhaps he's just enjoying the relationship right now rather than thinking about some mythical future. Where will you guys be in 6 months, one year. Who knows. Calm down and enjoy being with him.

[iamaninnocentma]

whatever you do, dont buy any animals. thats when i realised i was trapped for life. did you know that some cats can live for 20 years or more. thats a 20 year commitment.

[Muiin1]

haha he wants rabbits! but one each so they can be easily divided I guess >_<

[searock]

iamaninnocentma is a troll, OP.

Anyway I also think you should focus on the present, rather than the future. I know how you feel, my bf used to be like that too during the first months of our relationship. Depending on your bf's personality, it might either get "better" or it might stay this way. He might just not be comfortable with planning too far ahead.

Are you 100% sure that he's in love with you?

[iamaninnocentma]

iamaninnocentma is a troll, OP.

Anyway I also think you should focus on the present, rather than the future. I know how you feel, my bf used to be like that too during the first months of our relationship. Depending on your bf's personality, it might either get "better" or it might stay this way. He might just not be comfortable with planning too far ahead.

Are you 100% sure that he's in love with you?

whos a troll? i gave her some good advice. thats not troll behaviour. then you come and ask if shes sure her bf loves her. some would say your a troll or at least slightly annoying.

[Muiin1]

I'm pretty certain he loves me. His track record is one really long term relationship and dating for 2 years after and he seemed pretty casual about getting rid of girls he didn't like.
Also we've already been through so much already and want to be with each other.


I don't think its helpful putting that kind of stuff in :-/

[Asip4u]

You have only been together for six months. Perhaps you're going faster than he's comfortable with? Perhaps he's just enjoying the relationship right now rather than thinking about some mythical future. Where will you guys be in 6 months, one year. Who knows. Calm down and enjoy being with him.

Exactly. This is all that needs to be said really.

[surfhb]

What's the rush girl ! Slow down and don't move in together..... Enjoy life first

[asdfg789]

@OP, i'm going to be really blunt - are you sure he is not moving in with you just so he can get sex anytime he wants ?

From what you say, he doesn't seem interested or ready for a long term relationship.

You are both a little too young for settling down. What's the rush ?

[heartnsoul]

men are like hunted animals......one slight move and you scare them off. Be patient you haven't been in your relationship long enough, it takes time.

[haxan]

iamaninnocentma is a troll, OP.

Actually, searock, I've seen animals become a BIG issue in breakups and divorces, so it may not have been the advice the OP wanted, but it has some relevance.

OP, yes, you're moving way too fast with that kind of talk. The odds: when he's 35 he won't even remember your name.

[HeartIsAching]

OP, you're being a crazy bitch. If I was going out with somebody for 6 months and they said anything about "our wedding", I'd bolt. Seriously.

[Muiin1]

The thing is; I don't really want to get married right now. Maybe someday and the idea of it being with him is nice but not for years and years yet.
I just like to talk lightly about them as fantasy.

But I guess guys function differently. Maybe I should give it another 6-12 months before I can start hoping for him to really see me as a feature of his future, right?

[bulrush]

You've been dating for 9 months but you mention marriage? I think you two need to have a serious talk. 1) He may not see moving in together as a prelude to marriage. 2) He may not be ready for marriage when you are. The worst thing you could do is assume he is thinking the same thing as you, for the same time frame. Just talk to him.