Please help me figure this out! its so complicated!

[ftballgirl08]

I need some serious help with a huge issue i am having. let me give you some back ground. my ex and i met through work. He was my boss. Was married at the time of our intial hook up, in which thats what we started out as! Now divorced and 3 years later we were very serious! I moved away for a job training and moved back with in 3 months. Things were perfect! I am 26 he is 41. He would do anything and everything for me and as i would for him! It was to the point of talking marriage and a future! living together ect, I, being a 26 year old female have different views on life! i like to hang out with my friends and have a good time, innocent girls nights, movies or dinners. He started to become obsessive! Getting mad when i didnt reply right back or answer my phone! nothing was ever physical. it got to the point where i went on a over night trip with a few girlfriends and it was just total bothersome....millions of questions about what we were doing and my loyalness to him. I would and never have cheat on him. *our relationship started out with him cheating on his Wife* Now we are split up and he is moving away. I questioned for so long his faitfullness long term to me. i questioned the acceptance from my family and friends and still to this day love him. One way i can understand is concern and the other its like i just want you to trust me and not be so smothering! He is now moving far away and we have been back and forth fighting for weeks...split up and just the total opposite of what we were a year ago. Im sad and heartbroken. i could see a future but at what cost? Am i being selfish? I have the ability to go and move with him. Am i really letting some one go who genuinly cares about me and my happiness and my life. Im so confused about where i am in my life. I can remember the moments and feelings pounding in my chest when our realtionship became a reality. How happy i was to be with him at any cost. Am i letting my true love walk away or am i just lonley and missing the comanionship..I really need help! please feel free to ask any additional questions, he is moving soon and i cant sort these feelings out!

[IndiReloaded]

This is not complicated at all. He's a married guy (w/kids, I guess?) who wanted a fling. You were his midlife crisis young piece of ass. This story is as old as the hills. Are you surprised about his obsessiveness? This is a guy who cheats on his wife. He took you for a ride, sweet, go by what they do, not what they said. His moral compass is broken. Walk away.

[ftballgirl08]

he got a divorce a year or so ago and we were together stronger after that. some what living with each other, nothing was hidden from anyone. engagment ring and everything. Could you please explain more on your theory....im the type of girl who needs the facts....prime examples or things they say.....

[haxan]

He's working without a net now. When he was romancing you, he had his wife and kids at home, clothes cleaned, house cleaned, food prepared, kids to say I love you every day. If things didn't work out with you, fine, he'd just never leave his wife.

Finally, he fukked his family over and gambled on you. No net.

He's paranoid because you're younger, there's more competition for your pussy (even though you say you're devoted) and he knows you have no problem being the other woman. I'm sure he thinks of you fukking around with someone, like you did him. He's become obsessive, because if you leave him for someone, he's alone, his ex hates him and I'm sure his kids harbor tremendous resentment too.

You're still young, you more than likely WILL get bored with him and his situation (15 yr age difference, ex, kids, tons of money being paid out). There's plenty of other things it could be, but based on what you wrote and assuming everyone/everything is fairly normal in this situation, that's more than likely it.

[IndiReloaded]

This^. Not much else to say. As for the ring... well, now you know. Its not 'done' until its 'I do'. And, as you can see, even that's no guarantee.

*Does* he have kids? I'd feel guilty about being a homewrecker, if so. Just b/c its him cheating, doesn't mean you have to involved with a cheater. Self-respect. Its born of the discipline to say 'no', to oneself and others when necessary. You're young; take this as a lesson and learn.

[smackie9]

People who are dishonest and have no problem with cheating even though there is a lot at stake, feel everyone is just like them and have no problem doing the same thing. He is a narrow minded twit, that instead of solving his marital problems with putting his dick into a different pussy, he could have chose to go to counseling and saved his marriage. Now that he sees what he has done, he is swacked with paranoia that it's going to happen to him.

He is going away probably to sort things out and maybe repair the damage he did with his ex.

[IndiReloaded]

Or he's just an idiot. Seems a lot of them are coming out of the woodwork recently. Age is no barrier to stupidity.

[Jason521]

it is amazing

[haxan]

im the type of girl who needs the facts....prime examples or things they say.....

Well, you got it. Are you also the type of girl who when she gets the facts, ignores them?

[haxan]

Or (s)he's just an idiot

That is probably a little more accurate (in this case) ;-)