can't figure him out!

[vivaldi]

I've been seeing this guy for about a month and a half now- around 6 or 7 dates. We're certainly not exclusive, it's too soon, nor do I sense he's the relationship or serious type. He's 10 years older than me if that matters. He's a real gentleman, picks me up when we have dates and always drives me back home, he opens doors for me, always pays for dinner, walks me to my car and waits till I leave, etc. I figured that since he's in he's early thirties he has to at least be thinking about a relationship...not necessarily anything serious, but at least a relationship. Yet, I don't get that vibe in him, nor do we ever talk about "us". In between dates, he hardly ever calls or gets in touch- days go by without hearing a word, sometimes he initiates...sometimes I do. We had sex on our last date. So how do I bring this up without scaring him? I just want to know what he sees in me as of now. I want to know if he foresees something serious between us or just a fling.

[Archie]

An older guy, playing the gentleman, always paying(not splitting?), not interesten you You(both), rushing a relationship. Are you sure he`s not married and has 3 kids? I thinks it`s what smackie9`d say - booty call. I`d say get that straight with him.

[zerokool189]

Yeah, be careful with old guys. You younger girls are attracted to him because he is mature and knows what he wants. Why not ask him? never assume. Just say "what are you looking to get out of this"

[vivaldi]

I'm 99.99% sure he's not married nor has kids. I've been to his house and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have another one where he hides his wife and kids lol. Thanks for the advice. Rereading my own post, I can now see how it could become a "booty-call" situation, and I definately don't want that. We never really talk about intimate issues about "us"- he changes the topic or gives a closed off, short answer. But since we did have sex last time I expect more of him, and if he can't give me more, then I'm ending this. And the phrase that resonates with me now is "If a guy can get sex without being in a relationship, why would he want one?". So yeah, I do have standards and will end this if we can't be more.