Pursued by somebody who isn't interested

[Confused.123]

Hi everybody,

I'm hoping to get some insight. I was seeing a man last year who really wasn't sure what he wanted. I'd see him, he'd pull back, he'd start flirting again etc. When asked what he wanted, he would say he can't give me what I want, he's focused on his business etc. Fair enough, I was happy to be friends or vanish into the distance.

He is quite closely linked to my life, so I have to engage with him at some level, but my preference is to keep it limited. I have gone out of my way to avoid being in places I know he will be. I once asked him to stop communicating with me (he emails me a lot), and the next few days received the cold shoulder & him storming around anytime he was near me. The problem is I'm still very much attached to him, this has happened before but it's been easy, the man has made it clear he doesn't share my feelings, so I've moved on. In this case, he makes a point of being where I am, emails me regularly, comes to my house, flirts, makes suggestive comments, suggests he'd like to see me & then it's tumbleweeds. It is absolutely doing my head in.

Does anybody know why a man would continue to pursue & to flirt if he's not actually interested in me? I am finding it extremely difficult to move on from him due to the mixed messages. I keep thinking that there is still some hope. If I tell him to take a hike, I'm going to get the cold shoulder again, which is quite painful as a) I care for him a lot & b) he's still a big part of my life & I have to be around him to a certain degree, so I'd like it to be civil.

[smackie9]

Hi everybody,

I'm hoping to get some insight. I was seeing a man last year who really wasn't sure what he wanted. I'd see him, he'd pull back, he'd start flirting again etc. When asked what he wanted, he would say he can't give me what I want, he's focused on his business etc. Fair enough, I was happy to be friends or vanish into the distance.

He is quite closely linked to my life, so I have to engage with him at some level, but my preference is to keep it limited. I have gone out of my way to avoid being in places I know he will be. I once asked him to stop communicating with me (he emails me a lot), and the next few days received the cold shoulder & him storming around anytime he was near me. The problem is I'm still very much attached to him, this has happened before but it's been easy, the man has made it clear he doesn't share my feelings, so I've moved on. In this case, he makes a point of being where I am, emails me regularly, comes to my house, flirts, makes suggestive comments, suggests he'd like to see me & then it's tumbleweeds. It is absolutely doing my head in.

Does anybody know why a man would continue to pursue & to flirt if he's not actually interested in me? I am finding it extremely difficult to move on from him due to the mixed messages. I keep thinking that there is still some hope. If I tell him to take a hike, I'm going to get the cold shoulder again, which is quite painful as a) I care for him a lot & b) he's still a big part of my life & I have to be around him to a certain degree, so I'd like it to be civil.

To him it's just a game for control. Why? Who knows. The best thing to do is completely cut him off...that means blocking emails,etc. Time to stop being civil....you have to get serious with him and tell him to stop harassing you or you will get a court order. You have to let him know this is no game.....tell him to grow the f uck up.