forget it all and move on, or not?

[bbs301]

ive had a difficult 10 months with me and my ex being on off on off. when we split(after 2 1/2 yeaers) i told her she needed to go do her own thing, and be without me, to which she replied she wanted me. that was 10 months ago now, and on monday this week she said:

we cant keep going round in circles, we have both said there is all to say. i do want us to be together, but right now i just cant. i love you and i see us together in the future but right now i just cant do it. you have made me love you, ther is something about you alex. youll always be my one.


i am this girls first love, at the age of 20 she hadnt even kissed a guy, let alone dated. i have been her first everything. since we split, throughout the 10 months shes kissed 4 other guys, drunkenly and has said that they mean nothing and had no attraction to them. each time she apologised, she cried and said sorry many times.

she has no real friends other than me or her sister, and used to cry when i left her to go fishing, saying please dont leave me... sometimes id stay, others id go. i was only gone say 24 hours a time. she had no job, and no real hobbies of her own,

i get the sense this is either her saying goodbye to our relationship in total, or just the fact she needs some space, and probably to do the whole, what else is out there bit and find out more about herself. she seems to think im just happy doing as i please and she fits in second best, which is really not the truth at all. i said to her when we split that as much as she wanted things different, i did too, and the same things she wanted, is infact by chance what i wanted too.

any thoughts from a ladies perspective is greatly appreciated.

[amazinglyshik]

If you are available and you like her, there will be an issue of you treading on your friend's toes. Allow your friend and her to get to know each other and you find another female to get preoccupied (however) hard you find this.

She has seen someone she likes and gets excited about, and it doesn't include you. Your nose maybe out of joint a little, yet if she truly fancies you then you would be the one she would be asking about or talking to, not someone else. I think that you are amazing for being honest about your anxieties - this would not put her off you if she felt a strong and automatic attraction to you, so her choice to be interested in your friend suggests that she is not going to change her feelings just because you would like her to. You need to try and step back and allow them both to get along with their feelings/attraction to one-another and to find someone who likes you without you trying hard to attract them.

Being selfish is okay as long as you do not pursue something that hasn't happened to you: her intentions are towards someone else, so allow her to explore her feelings for your friend and move on. Just because you like her just as much as your friend does not mean that you should then pursue her because you wish it was you instead. There is someone out there for you who will feel the same way about you, but not forcing yourself onto someone else is key.

be glad and happy for your friend and give yourself the freedom to find someone who returns the same feelings, not those who have already made their own decisions and formed relationships already.

[bbs301]

Amazinglyshik,,

Have you replied to the wrong thread?

[bbs301]

Anyone able to help me out there? It's just me and her no friend involved? Please