ive had a difficult 10 months with me and my ex being on off on off. when we split(after 2 1/2 yeaers) i told her she needed to go do her own thing, and be without me, to which she replied she wanted me. that was 10 months ago now, and on monday this week she said:
we cant keep going round in circles, we have both said there is all to say. i do want us to be together, but right now i just cant. i love you and i see us together in the future but right now i just cant do it. you have made me love you, ther is something about you alex. youll always be my one.
i am this girls first love, at the age of 20 she hadnt even kissed a guy, let alone dated. i have been her first everything. since we split, throughout the 10 months shes kissed 4 other guys, drunkenly and has said that they mean nothing and had no attraction to them. each time she apologised, she cried and said sorry many times.
she has no real friends other than me or her sister, and used to cry when i left her to go fishing, saying please dont leave me... sometimes id stay, others id go. i was only gone say 24 hours a time. she had no job, and no real hobbies of her own,
i get the sense this is either her saying goodbye to our relationship in total, or just the fact she needs some space, and probably to do the whole, what else is out there bit and find out more about herself. she seems to think im just happy doing as i please and she fits in second best, which is really not the truth at all. i said to her when we split that as much as she wanted things different, i did too, and the same things she wanted, is infact by chance what i wanted too.
any thoughts from a ladies perspective is greatly appreciated.