infatuation

[catullus]

Dear Anybody

I am a 43 year old happily married man (2 small kids) who has become overwhelmingly infatuated with a 23 year old co-worker

She is friendly but certainly not coquettish and there is no suggestion she reciprocates. I have no intention of trying to pursue a personal relationship with her.

My problem - cliched as it is - is that over the past 6 months or so, I have been completely felled by incredibly strong feelings for her. I am sexually attracted to her but beyond that, I now seem to have all the symptoms of puppy love - can't eat, can't sleep, butterflies around her, idealising her, the works.

My rational mind sees that this is completely ridiculous. I would ideally just avoid her, but I am one of her supervisors and the nature of our workplace (which is academic - professional) means we are more or less obliged to work together most days in a fairly structured way.

I'm not really asking for reasons why I shouldn't try to take things further with this girl - they're all pretty obvious. What I am mostly hoping for is any advice on how I can cope with my predicament. I feel utterly wretched and if I could rewrite the whole script I certainly would

Please help if you can

[Boisdevie]

What I don't understand is why this is happening if you are happily married. Are you really happy in your marriage?

[pisces25]

Is there another position you can take where you won't be around her as much? And also I agree with Boisdevie, maybe examine what is missing in your marriage to make you feel so strong for someone else. Is it routine? The bring some spontaneity back. Is it the sex? Maybe talk to your wife about how to get this back on track. That sorta thing...

[JasonSA]

Thanks for your post

[dem862]

Enjoy it. Those feelings don't come along often. Maybe try to re-focus the feelings onto your wife. If that doesn't work, I suggest a sabbatical.

[Esther20]

Thanks for your post.

[haxan]

I can see acknowledging that a 23 yr old is hot, but I can't imagine going overboard like you are. It's just a good looking kid, who cares. There's tons of them out there, stop obsessing over this one. Just quit being an idiot, that shouldn't be too hard.