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Thread: Feeling ignored...

  1. #1
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    Feeling ignored...

    Hey everyone,
    I've been 5 years in a long distance relationship and it has gone quite well but for the past month his behaviour has changed without any significant reason. He has been giving some, which I consider, quite rude comments and I've obviously reacted to them getting upset. Every time I make it clear to him that it's not ok to be that way he turns everything so that I'm some sort of evil witch who is all time nagging and never says anything nice (which is isn't true).
    I now Long distance relationships are complicated but we have managed so well so far and I don't want to lose him I always try to keep our conversations interesting, think of things to surprise him and make him smile even though we're far, I do not know what else I could make. I feel like the "clingy" one even though I'm not clingy at all
    Please give me any advise or suggestion you could have on why he could have possibly behaved like this lately...

    Thank you very much in advance.

  2. #2
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    Is there any solid plan to move near each other?

    I think he's probably getting frustrated with not seeing you often, and probably has found someone else.

  3. #3
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    Or he's simply just emotionally done with the relationship.

    Has he been stressed alot lately? That can make someone seem distant.

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    There is a very solid plan to move in together in 2 years time from now when I'm done with my studies. Last time we saw eachother was in May and the next time is in 9 days. We do manage to meet at regular-ish intervals of 1-2 months lately.
    He has got a new job this past month and yes, he has been very stressed and tired... might come from that now that I think about it. But, still...

  5. #5
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    Sudden behaviour changes don't bode well. You know this or you wouldn't be posting here. Try to find out the scoop, if you can. But be prepared for what WarriorMaiden said. A 5 year LDR with yet another 2 years to go isn't something most people would be satisfied with. Not sure if you are aware, but a lot of men use these types of relationships to 'feel' like they are in a relationship while living a single lifestyle. Even if you stick it out, I predict a breakup just as you are planning to move together. Sorry, but that's how it works.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    you should of been married or living together by now, 5 year LTR is too long...shes tired. women like plans. not sure of your ages but just seems you both got too comfortable stuck in a middle stage and didnt take anything to a higher next level.

  7. #7
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    Thank you for trying I guess. But this did not help me at all. @ oldskool83 "She" is me, I'm a girl. We have a plan to move in in 2 years time. Everything is pretty planned, I finish my studies here (which will take 2 years) and I move in with him. I do not see how that is "getting too comfortable in a middle stage" but ok. This is already a higher level and we have spoken about marrying and having kids before. I guess it is quite useless to ask in forums to people who do not have any context about your life and such. Please don't try to continue answering, I'll manage to get behind the reason myself, which is probably just his job.
    Indireloaded, that was quite straight forward of you, close to rude. I don't think any breakup is going to take place, even less when we will actually move in.

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    if yor in school chances of it lasting ouside of school if your younger are slim to non. good luck.

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    It's a miracle you stayed in that relationship for 5 years. I really don't find long distance thing to work this long, or even if it took this long I thought if it will go anywhere. But in your case, I guess his hating you more than he loves you and that is something you should seriously consider.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by EyesClosed View Post
    Indireloaded, that was quite straight forward of you, close to rude. I don't think any breakup is going to take place, even less when we will actually move in.
    Okay, I hope I'm wrong. Don't stick your head in the sand, tho. Consider every possibility, even the ones that scare you. That's why you posted here, not for us to tell you only what you want to read. Everyone is telling you that 5 years is too long for an LDR. Pay attention if you feel like you are 'forcing' the relationship and he is backing off. Good luck.
    Last edited by IndiReloaded; 27-06-12 at 11:09 AM.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Plans plans plans. Listen honey another 2 years of LDR will kill what's left of your 'relationship'. And since you're spending so little time together the idea of going from LDR to living together has disaster written all over it.
    I expect you'll disagree with me.

  12. #12
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    Well if i were him i'd be upset with not being able to see you witch can effect someone who likes to be with the person he is
    dating

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