Need some good advices

[oldfashioned]

Well, that's kinda long story but I'm going to make is shorter;

There is a girl I've been met by one of my close girl friends, At first she was just a nice girl for me, but then somehow I started to have a crush on her, because she was quite different from other ordinary girls, whenever I run into her in the campus I was kinda getting excited. So, it was pretty hard for me to act as myself when I talk to her. No one had made me feel that way before.

Usually girls find me funny and enjoyable, most of my close girl friends started to get closer to me but I have never thought them as a partner, The problem is whenever I have a crush on a girl, as I said before, I can't act natural and be myself, so as a result I kinda look strange, both behavior and speaking wise.

After meeting each other, we started to see each other in the campus, since I get freaky excited I was avoiding to run into her, or kinda act like I didn't see her, but all the time, she was catching me and saying me hello, even when I pass by her she calls out my name behind me. So, it was obvious that after we met, she didn't consider me just someone she met, right ?

All those time we bump into each other, said hello, and that was it, since we don't have a common activity such as university clubs or classes couldn't share time together, neither I asked her to meet and do something nor she did.

But one day, there was a meeting of something which we both invited I knew she will be there, she knew I'll either, couldn't ask her to go together(since I get excited), but fortunately she did

We went together, spent time together after the meeting stuff, and once again I fell in love with her, She was definitely the one I've been looking for years and I'm sure it's near impossible me to find someone like her again.

After that time we spent together, I was a little more confident and comfortable with her, well, still whenever I see her from a distance, my heart was starting to beat like a crazy pump, but I was be able to handle it
Even one day asked her for supper, she accepted, and again I spent a great meal with her, at least I thought that way. Even though we don't share much time together or do any thing common, still we could find dozens of things to talk about and never got stuck at the middle, so, the conversation was pretty smooth.

After that meal I started to push my self to invite her to club activities I do, she came almost all of them except one due to special reasons, and my love growth each and everyday.
Well, to be honest I wouldn't do that for a girl I wasn't in love. So, thinking that, all those I've done must indicates something to her.

One day I texted her to ask the time of the theatre show she will be staring in. She responded me with text message as well and at the and of the message she was asking for a walk. That's the point for me ! This made me think so much. Why she would be done that, if she doesn't have a crush on me ? I would like you to interpret and explain that with your feelings as a girl ?

Due to a reason I couldn't accept that invitation but rather asked to spent time at the evening. So she invited me to a theatre, and to another one once again in the following day by herself ( I mean she never invited me to somewhere, except the first time she asked for meeting stuff, instead I was the one doing every invitation, so is this a tactic she is following or she is trying to be easy on me or something else ?)

This had raised my courage and I was inviting her for suppers more often and even bought her gifts while there is no reason (like birthday or sth. like that)

At this point, I think, my feelings must be clear in her eyes. But still she is not showing a sign.
We are in the summer holiday now, and she in not calling or texting.

I'm definitely sure she is love of my life and don't want to lose her at all. Even wondering whether I'm not that good for her.
She is a pure splendor and I think I'm not that handsome for her.
I don't know, how would you interpret all that story ?
And what am I supposed to do to proceed ?

[smackie9]

You silly sap, did you even make out with her or anything? hold hands, look into her eyes and tell her how beautiful she is? probably not. If you don't make sexual advances, then she thinks you don't find her desirable and you are a sappy dud. Tip: you never give gifts unless she giving it (sex) to you or they just take you for granted.

[oldfashioned]

Ohh, that was kinda rough.
Well, what you suggesting me in a blaming way is so straight to go, I mean, as I'm trying to be sure if she is also interested in me, doing what you said would be risky, cause it might be to early to go in that manner.

You silly sap, did you even make out with her or anything? hold hands, look into her eyes and tell her how beautiful she is? probably not. If you don't make sexual advances, then she thinks you don't find her desirable and you are a sappy dud. Tip: you never give gifts unless she giving it (sex) to you or they just take you for granted.

[smackie9]

I'm a female and I'm telling like it is. Confidence (making a move) is what gets the girl and keeps her interested.

So as it stands, being unsure and not doing things in a speedy manner....how is that working for you?

There is a reason why she is not calling or texting you.

[Cerby]

Ohh, that was kinda rough.
Well, what you suggesting me in a blaming way is so straight to go, I mean, as I'm trying to be sure if she is also interested in me, doing what you said would be risky, cause it might be to early to go in that manner.

Nope, Smackie is right, if you don't show you have a pair of balls, she'll find someone who does. Playing this chess game of gifts without moves is just silly and will result in you coming back here asking "What happened? Why doesn't she like me?"

You're in the position to make a move, and you haven't.

[oldfashioned]

Nope, Smackie is right, if you don't show you have a pair of balls, she'll find someone who does. Playing this chess game of gifts without moves is just silly and will result in you coming back here asking "What happened? Why doesn't she like me?"

You're in the position to make a move, and you haven't.

Well, you guys both are right. However, it's not true telling I've done nothing in terms of moving towards her.
I'm the one all the time inviting her and trying to spent time with her. So, her to accept these invitations are not enough to make it clear that she is waiting for a intimacy move, is it ?

Also, as she doesn't show a proper sign to make me move, calling and texting her all the time feels like kinda I'm pushing her and that might bother and irritate her. That feeling is the reason I can't move as quickly as you guys suggesting.

Am I wrong at that point ?

[smackie9]

Like I said before......so how is it working for you so far?

[oldskool83]

then hit the next button and find another one. i think you got too caught up in the crush OMG deal and your freaked out to do anything. you need phsyical contact by 3rd date...its just that simple.

[Cerby]

then hit the next button and find another one. i think you got too caught up in the crush OMG deal and your freaked out to do anything. you need phsyical contact by 3rd date...its just that simple.

I disagree, the third date rule isn't firm, but I agree that there needs to be positive progression towards the physical aspect every time you see each other.

As for OP, you're talking about how she isn't showing a "proper" sign about making a move. Why don't YOU show a proper sign instead and go for it. Like I said, you're well on your way to coming back here in a few weeks asking "what went wrong?".

[oldfashioned]

I disagree, the third date rule isn't firm, but I agree that there needs to be positive progression towards the physical aspect every time you see each other.

As for OP, you're talking about how she isn't showing a "proper" sign about making a move. Why don't YOU show a proper sign instead and go for it. Like I said, you're well on your way to coming back here in a few weeks asking "what went wrong?".

All those invitations, messages, callings and gifts. Can't they be considered as a sign ?
That physical move thing, I think, requires a mutual intimacy, before that point using physical approach might scare her. I mean what if she says "What the hell are you doing". As she didn't open herself, physical touches might lead that, am I wrong ?

[smackie9]

You hide your insecurity with calls, gifts, dinners and lame excuses, just like so many that have posted on this forum that avoid being confident. Guess what, the ladies expect the man to step up and take the lead, to make a physicaly move, and there is no other way around it. To a female (when you are not in a relationship), gifts and crap gives the impression that you are trying too hard to be accepted. It looks lame sorry to say.

If she didn't want you to touch her, hold her hand, then she is just frickin using you for the free dinners and isn't into you.....that would mean you were wasting your bloody time. It's not like we are telling you to make her jump in the sack with you. Geeeeezzzzzz.

[oldfashioned]

You hide your insecurity with calls, gifts, dinners and lame excuses, just like so many that have posted on this forum that avoid being confident. Guess what, the ladies expect the man to step up and take the lead, to make a physicaly move, and there is no other way around it. To a female (when you are not in a relationship), gifts and crap gives the impression that you are trying too hard to be accepted. It looks lame sorry to say.

If she didn't want you to touch her, hold her hand, then she is just frickin using you for the free dinners and isn't into you.....that would mean you were wasting your bloody time. It's not like we are telling you to make her jump in the sack with you. Geeeeezzzzzz.

Okay, you might me right, but that physical move thing is really making me think. Why would you (I mean you girls) consider the calls,gifts,invitations as something to hide that someone's insecurity ?

All these time I didn't do the things you suggested. So, if I start doing them suddenly, wouldn't it seem strange ?
Also would like to ask a unrelated question;
If I stand in front of her and directly tell her that I love her (for sure in a romantic, smooth way), would that work or that's a stupid mistake ? If so, how it has to be ?

[surfhb]

---

Omg!!! This is hilarious! Are you for real?

Next Time you see this girl, grab her hand and tell her how you couldn't wait to see her and kiss her. This is not rocket science

No....you don't tell a girl you love her when you haven't even kissed. How old are you?

[oldskool83]

by the 3rd time u see here there should be a hug, if not you just look like some friend. come one now. that gesture alone shows some type of interest.

[smackie9]

Okay, you might me right, but that physical move thing is really making me think. Why would you (I mean you girls) consider the calls,gifts,invitations as something to hide that someone's insecurity ?

All these time I didn't do the things you suggested. So, if I start doing them suddenly, wouldn't it seem strange ?
Also would like to ask a unrelated question;
If I stand in front of her and directly tell her that I love her (for sure in a romantic, smooth way), would that work or that's a stupid mistake ? If so, how it has to be ?

Stupid mistake. Girls don't want a sappy drip that showers them in gifts, says I love you (when you are not even in a relationship) and can't step up and make a move. You look weak, lack confidence and it screams turn off! Girls don't want to be put up on a pedestal, they hate it. Expressing your feelings and giving gifts is not appropriate when you are not in a relationship.

Step one, take her out on an expensive date.
Step two, take her out on an enexpensive date, go for a walk, talk lots, good eye contact, one nice complement (that's it just one), take her by the hand and walk some more.
Step three, invite her over for a romantic dinner, cuddle on the couch with a bottle of wine. End of night, move in for a kiss, repeat, repeat again when you drop her off at home.
Step four, don't call her for awhile, let her call you (be the challenge), reward her call with a simple flirtation. But don't text her later, let her do the texting. Hopefully she will invite you to her place for drinks, then start making a move with passionate horny kisses, hopefully by then she will lead you to the bedroom.