What should I do??

[JLanister]

Sooo this is a little bit of a strange situation... I guess the best is the start. I met a girl online about an year ago, we hit it off really well, always had something to talk about common interest, we would spend hours with each other, and grew incredibly close.... But she is married. We would text and video chat on skype, and all that kind of stuff. We really started caring for each other. Saying I love you and telling each other I miss you. She would tell me how much her husband ignores her and that they were more like roomates. We kept our little online relationship a secreat from everyone but a mutal friend.

Well one night he got drunk and told her irl best friend everything that had been going on between us, we were both a pretty upset about it, and her friend started threatening to tell her husband. We were both pretty upset about it, neither one of us had the means to make things work at the time and had no way to handle it, so we both decided it was best to break it off, this lasted a few months and there were a ton of arguments between each other. Eventually we stopped talking and really didn't see much of each other. Things went bad for us for quite a while, I thought she was over me so I started moving on, dating irl nothing that ever really. Two weeks ago she started talking to me agian, apologiesing for ever letting me go, and since then it's been kinda the same thing all over agian our old feelings kicked back in and its like there was never even a loss of time between us.

Idk really if I should let this keep going though, it has it's ups and downs. I'm not even sure if she ever actually wants to be with me... I just don't want to get hurt agian but I do love her, she is married though and that bugs me a lot too...
What should I do?

[Cerby]

You should stop this. Even you know now it isn't going where you want it to. As long as she is married this is just an online fling with no future for you. And even if there was, she is now a proven emotional cheater, who says she won't do it to you too?

[limegreen_jello]

As someone who was married once AND had an affair at the end of the unhappy and unfulfilling relationship, I can regretfully admit that it's pretty comfortable and easy to get the affection, attention, and understanding that's lacking in your relationship in this kind of online fling. It means that she doesn't have to give up the safety and security of her relationship, even if it's a unhappy one, or do anything that threatens the future of her marriage if things turn around with him - people don't just get divorced overnight, it's a long and painful process before you make a decision needless to say go through with it. I wouldn't invest any energy and love into her, so long she makes no signs of real changes (moving out of their home, etc.) - even though she's most likely not intentionally using you, this is probably not a game you're going to win.

[JLanister]

I guess deep down inside I knew all this, I'm really not a bad guy... Just really lonely. I never wanted to ruin a marriage or destroy someone's life. The more I look at the situation I feel wrong about it, like it should have never happened. Im just having a tuff time doing what needs to be done.

[jetta86s]

In the first place, knowing that you don't want to get hurt, why did you let yourself drown? It's either you ask her to leave her husband or leave them alone.