Sex advice in relationship

[Treetops]

Hello everyone

I have been in a relationship with a really nice guy for a few years now but I am having problems with my libido as I dont feel like having sex anymore.
The main problem is that he can go on for hours and hours on end and I get really bored sometimes pretending to enjoy it. I am afraid of telling him as it will hurt his feelings but I feel like I am being dishonest with him. What do I do?
The second problem is that he never lets me dominate him which again makes it a bit boring, could this be because I am more dominant than him in our relationship? Whenever I ask him why he just avoids the subject so I am a bit lost.

Thank you in advance for any advice that may come

[haxan]

Well, I agree about the endless pounding. There needs to be cohesiveness, a connection and intimacy between you that feeds off of each other and makes a perfect ending when you have sex. You two sound like there's zero communication in the sexuality department.

Dominate him? Please explain (in detail).

[Treetops]

I just mean being on top or leading in general, every time I try to take charge he won't let me and just takes over. I can't figure out why though and dont know what to do about it :/

[haxan]

I just mean being on top or leading in general, every time I try to take charge he won't let me and just takes over. I can't figure out why though and dont know what to do about it :/

Being on top (literally?) Don't see a problem with that.

What do you mean by take charge? Telling him things you want to do, or done to you during sex?

[Treetops]

Telling him things I want to do, and yes litterally. He would do anything I asked him to do for me but he never lets me do anything to him, I am so close to just tying him down but I know that he wouldnt appreciate it at all. He just always does all the work every time and I just have to lie there and take it...

[Boisdevie]

This relationship is going to end unless you talk to him and find a solution. It really is that simple. And that difficult.

[Treetops]

Yeah, you are right, I was just hoping to find an explanation for it :/
But thank you for your responses

[haxan]

Yeah, you are right, I was just hoping to find an explanation for it :/

Not sure what you mean, you haven't talked to him about anything. He takes the lead and does what he thinks is pleasurable for both of you. He probably doesn't know to do anything different or isn't aware of the things that you want done to you. You have to communicate (i.e., you don't like endless pounding, you want to be on top, you want to do certain things to him).

If you can't talk about sex in intimate detail to each other, your sex life certainly isn't going to get any better. Use tact though, like was talked about in another thread, most people think they're great in bed, so try not to use words like bored or disinterested ;-)

[Wakeup]

This isn't making any sense. Why are'nt you stopping him from pounding away. All you have to do is stop it. Quit worrying about "hurting his feelings" because obviously, if what you are saying is the truth, he's NOT worrying about hurting yours. You are NEVER going to turn him into a decent lover by lying to him via pretending that you're enjoying the drilling. You don't have to say a thing to him if you stop him in actions and change it up. If he stops doing anything if you change it up, then you need to use your words to let him know that it's no longer doing it for you.

If you want to take charge then when he stops you, you stop him from stopping you and you take charge. That is what domineering is about. You are a sub and you are complaining that you don't get to be a dom. YOU need to stop being that sub if being a sub is not what you want.

You act as if you have no say over your own enjoyment when that isn't so. It's only this way because you enable it to be such. Stop enabling.

[bulrush]

I just mean being on top or leading in general, every time I try to take charge he won't let me and just takes over.

That's not domination, that's just being assertive.

Domination is when you say to him: "On your back now, bitch, because it's time to take what I want." And you say it with a smile. Ah, fun times!

And if he's taking too long, give him a "5 minute warning". Tell him "I'm getting sore, here's your 5 minute warning to finish up." Or "I'm getting sore, I want to feel you cum in me now." Notice the "now" gives him a definite time frame. Don't do/say anything that can be interpreted in multiple ways.

Some people, have trouble speaking up and asking for what they want. I think you need to get past this. In the end, if you don't ask for what you want, you only have yourself to blame.

[J.R.Jefferis]

Seems like you need to talk to him openly about letting you take a lead in sex...this way you won't be so bored.

JR