I see a lot of guys complain that they get friend-zoned when a girl says she doesn't want to date them because it will ruin their friendship.
But it's true. It DOES ruin the friendship.
I dated a guy for about 7 months officially, 9-10 months unofficially. He is infamous among his friends for being a player. His usual pattern is to become friends with a girl, sleep with her anywhere from a few times to a few months (while sometimes sleeping with others), abruptly stop and go back to being friends, and then try to seduce her again at some point.
I was his first girlfriend. He dumped me 3 months ago, but said he really wanted us to be friends. I told him I needed time to get over him, so I went NC for a while. I opened up the line of communication a few weeks ago... and to my surprise, he does not seem interested in being friends at all. He takes days to respond to my messages. He seems to avoid coming to parties where he knows I'll be (or he's just SO busy he can't make the ones I happen to be at.) He always has other plans when I suggest hanging out.
I was looking forward to us being friends, as I really enjoy him as a person. I am the only girl he's slept with, that he's then declined to be friends with. I can only figure the reason for this is, he doesn't want sex from me, and thus doesn't want to bother with a friendship. Or maybe he thinks I'm going to bring drama because I'm his ex.
I am upset all over again. First I got rejected romantically... and now he's even rejecting me platonic ally. It makes me feel as if I'm worthless to him, because he doesn't see me as a sexual option, and thus not worth the time.
It just KILLS me to think that if I had just been the standard Friends-with-Benefits, or One Night Stand, we'd still be friends. But because I'm "the ex" he has no interest in being friends... because he no longer wants me, because we have history, because I'm just baggage.
It really hurts. It makes me feel like I never want to date again, because if things don't work out, it seems like I can never be friends with them. It just isn't worth it!! I don't even get to be his friend, because I was his gf. I should have just kept myself as a pump-and-dump, and at least then I'd still have a friend.