Long Distance Dating: how to tell what's true?

[wearylover]

let me present you with the facts first

Age difference: 14 years
Distance: 6321 km
Status: He is divorced, i'm single in college

the story:

so, this guy i'm dating online and i have been a thing for 5 months now. we occasionally chat on cam but we pretty much correspond on a daily basis in most cases all day everyday. there are a couple of phone calls too with which i am more prone to make. skype has been recently added into the mix but have only happened a number of times.

on the surface, this seems like a well oiled machine. the relationship is pretty much okay, given the fair amount of irregularities. the distance factor and a couple of issues which have been resolved amicably. nut lately i've been having thoughts.

how do i tell which parts if what i'm in is actually true? to be fair with him, he has arranged for a trip to see me. i have the travel details and they are proven to be authentic.he has also expressed thinking about moving here but even that is causing me to doubt now. he has also been generous with spending time with me until recently. i feel like he's slipping away.. or ist just the holidays?

we talk less and less. to a point that its a hello just a few minutes before he falls asleep. i noticed that unless i call him, or ask him over skype, i would not be able to hear his voice. i always make the first move. but he would tell me he loves me and can not wait to be with me. and is thinking about me a lot. what do i make out if this? what is true from what isnt and how do i flush it out?

i've been badly hurt before, if i could, i would like to spare myself from getting hurt further more.

[Boisdevie]

Apart from seeing his face, that's the only thing you know is true. He and you could be making everything else up. And given that you're 6000km apart do you really expect to see him that often? Why not find somebody your own age in your own town.

[qwertz]

I dont see how its possible to love somebody over the internet.

[vashti]

I don't think it's possible to actually DATE someone over the internet. Dating requires face-to-face time, and at least SOME physical interaction. I don't think you should become emotionally involved until you know him in person.

[Boisdevie]

Get a grip girl. You are thousands of miles apart. Do you think a virtual hug, virtual sex etc is the real deal? No. What is wrong with finding somebody your own age in your own town. People who think an online 'relationship' is a relationship are fooling themselves. I met my GF over the internet and we chatted lots. BUT then we met in person. That's the difference. And now during the week we keep in touch via the net but at weekends we're together. I have spent Xmas with her so guess what? Tonight I can see her, hold her hand, kiss her etc - get the idea. It's a real relationship. Not some virtual crap.

[xxazurexx]

I can't figure why people would choose a virtual relationship as opposed to having a 'real' one.

All well and good if you plan on meeting and you keep it online and until you can meet....but to conduct a relationship via the net and leave it online is totally laughable. Do you have trouble with communicating face to face with people in real life??

Sounds like he's getting bored with it already and if you are the one having to mail him, etc, etc. You are the one keeping it going and trying desperately to hang on it appears.

Find a 'real' bloke ffs!!

[HeartIsAching]

I can't figure why people would choose a virtual relationship as opposed to having a 'real' one.

All well and good if you plan on meeting and you keep it online and until you can meet....but to conduct a relationship via the net and leave it online is totally laughable. Do you have trouble with communicating face to face with people in real life??

Sounds like he's getting bored with it already and if you are the one having to mail him, etc, etc. You are the one keeping it going and trying desperately to hang on it appears.

Find a 'real' bloke ffs!!

Because it's safer.

To all of you that believe that a relationship over the 'net isn't real - you're fooling yourselves. It might not be as intimate as it should, nor physical, but an emotional involvement is still an emotional involvement. No, I'm not talking about me, I've actually met my long-distance love. Met her and loved her a long time ago.

[qwertz]

Because it's safer.

To all of you that believe that a relationship over the 'net isn't real - you're fooling yourselves. It might not be as intimate as it should, nor physical, but an emotional involvement is still an emotional involvement. No, I'm not talking about me, I've actually met my long-distance love. Met her and loved her a long time ago.

Hmmmmm, i dont think so!

[Sonrisa]

where is he from?

[xxazurexx]

Because it's safer.

To all of you that believe that a relationship over the 'net isn't real - you're fooling yourselves. It might not be as intimate as it should, nor physical, but an emotional involvement is still an emotional involvement. No, I'm not talking about me, I've actually met my long-distance love. Met her and loved her a long time ago.

It's a fantasy and while it remains online. How the heck can you possibly know if feelings are 'real' and unless you meet?

You can't.....

[HeartIsAching]

It's a fantasy and while it remains online. How the heck can you possibly know if feelings are 'real' and unless you meet?

You can't.....

You don't need another to validate your feelings.

I know a couple that met online 14 years ago. They met for the first time 12 years ago. 11 years ago he went back to Thailand and married her. They're still married.