Boyfriend still not talking to me

[CPS001]

Last weekend someone I have been friends with for 8 years (dated for a couple months at the start of that) posted horrible and mean comments about my boyfriend on our vacation photos posted on FB. Some of the comments were insulting to me and us as well. A friend of my boyfriend's informed him before I even saw them. I was horrified! I have no idea why he would do such a thing! When my boyfriend found out what was said, he was furious. He said the blame is mainly on me because I have chosen to be friends with him so I have let this happen. He said he can't deal with the drama, he had to defend himself to his friends that he was not in a relationship like that. He said it has upset him, made him feel like he did in the past (from other relationship) and like he is going down the same road again. He said he is furious, has no desire to talk to me right now and wants to be left alone to figure out what is best for him and for us! That was Sunday and I still haven't heard from him. I have not called or texted him. I'm trying to understand he needs his time. However, I am sick about this! I'm so upset because while I do understand his point of view, it has happened to me as well. I take responsibility for keeping the person as a friend but I never thought he would do something like this otherwise I would't have. I know in the past he has questioned if my BF was good for me but I always put him in his place. I have obviously cut this person out completely but I don't know if my BF wants to believe that. I wrote my BF an email saying I understand what he is going through, apologized for letting that person in my life and that I want to be able to work through this when he is ready. What should I do? Do I attempt contact? Do I continue to give him time? Is the fact that he has not contacted me means he wants out? This is so frustrating because I love him so much and I didn't directly do anything to hurt him, I never would! I love him so much and this relationship means everything to me! I just also feel that not communicating isn't helping! The silent treatment is killing me. Is there hope for this? Thanks!

[Boisdevie]

Your email was reasonable and it's not your fault that the 'friend' posted mean comments is it? You've done everything possible to sort this problem out and he's acting like it's your fault. His treatment of you is hardly reasonable or fair. If he's capable of doing this then do you really want a relationship with such an idiot?

[CPS001]

Thanks for responding to me! I appreciate your honesty! I tried to reason with him that it wasn't my fault the comments were made and that he did what he did! My BF responded that I must tell him everything which makes no sense because I wouldn't badmouth my BF and how someone interprets what I say is not my responsibility. Thing is, is I can admit when I make mistakes and I have made plenty in past relationships but I have given my best to this and to have him shut me out, not want to talk and considering ending it for something posted on FB by someone else seems unfair and extreme. I guess I just feel like I'm being punished and I'm not sure how to proceed at this point? I feel I at least deserve a conversation. It upsets me that he is failing to see how this is hurting me as well! I've been thinking about trying to make contact but still unsure if I should.

[Boisdevie]

You're trying to reason and deal with this misunderstanding like a grown up. He isn't. So if he's happy punishing you for something that wasn't even your point then does he deserve your love? If my GF did this to me she'd by my exGF pretty bloody fast.

[cheekxs]

[I] dont know you. But i know there are trouble makkers in this world.
And they love to act like they did noting wrong when they confront them.

So in that case i would understand him 100%!
Cause i dont want people like that around me!

And its sounds funny some kind of childish those comments. hahahahahha
Can i see them? whahahahahahahahhaa, Sorry.

Bu anyway, a bad gf/bf can destroy your life and makes you lose friends and family!
So i think its good to see with who you walk. Let him do so.

And i think you knew whats going on with that friend and you. But you just act so your bf think you are innocent.
MAny times the person have been mean or acting weird toward you before.

I dont think he have to take it all on you.
But i understand that he may feel like cause you are in his life hes getting in shit like this.
but however its up to him how he deals with it.

[cheekxs]

Or maybe cause some of the things are true he feels like he got bsted and seek his way out by acting like this.............. we dont know. so
deal with it yourself

[CPS001]

So my boyfriend finally contacted me but via email initially. He said, sorry it has taken him a while to get back to me, but the last week he has been thinking about all that happened and is confused, doesn't know what to do or think. He said he wants me to know that he loves me, misses, me and that will always be the case. He said, he feels he is not getting the whole truth and he doesn't like how that feels. He said he is not ready to talk and wants his space right now.

So... I prob shouldn't have but I called him because I think the emails are getting ridiculous and we do need to talk, phone or in person, etc. However, I do understand if he isn't ready. He then text me and said, he isn't walking away. He is confused about what happened, is trying to figure it out and get to the bottom on it and doesn't know what to do. He isn't ready to talk and its not good timing." Advice please!? Kind but honest, I'm in bad shape here!

[Boisdevie]

I"d tell him to get stuffed.

[CPS001]

So I guess that means my feels of him being ridiculous are not off base?

[pisces25]

He is over-reacting and the fact he won't even talk to you in person is childish. How long have you been together?