I found out my boyfriend is talking to his EX.

[MyTreasure]

THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG STORY, but I don't know what else to do but try to get advice from a couple of people.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over two years. Before I met him he was with his ex for almost 4 years. But they broke up because he found out she was cheating on him. They also lost their virginities to eachother. When he met me he told me he never felt such a connection with anyone but me, even if they were together for so long. I believe him because of course, I love him and we have the same sense of humor and tons of inside jokes. While his ex always wanted him to be more serious and to "grow up". We are still young and in our 20's, so keep that in mind..

My boyfriend and his friends went out to party one Friday night, and of course I trusted him as always. When he called me and told me he was going out, I told him just call me when you get home, have fun, etc. He was being SO SWEET to me. He told me of course I will call you, even if you are sleeping, just to let you know I'm safe. That's what I love about him, because he always thinks about my feelings. So I went to bed, and I woke up the next morning around 9am. I got no calls or texts, so I was worried because he said he would let me know when he is safe at home. So I called him, no answer. So I texted him, no answer. I decided to wait it out, thought it was nothing. He was probably really tired and knocked out as soon as he went home. So around 1pm he called me back. And told me he was sorry for worrying me, and that his phone died, so when he went home he charged it and went to bed. The day went on as usual. I was just happy he was okay.

So the next day my boyfriend and I decide to go to our friend's house after we both got off work. We met up, and we were all just sitting around catching up. And I see my boyfriend's phone on the counter beep. He is not a big texter, and hardly texts anyone. It was closer to me, so I got up and was about to reach for it so I can hand it to him. BUT, before I can do that he leaped out of his chair and grabbed his phone very fast. FISHY, YES. Then while we were all talking to our friends, he was texting someone every few minutes. I blew it off since we were at our friends house. After we left and we got into the car, I asked him why he was so desperate for me not to touch his phone. He said it was just his friend who he needed to buy car parts from. (he's a mechanic) So I asked him what parts, and he had no answer. He is a HORRIBLE liar, and I've been with him for 2 years so I know when he lies. I just told him straight up, I know you are lying. I love you and trust you, I just want the truth from you. So he told me everything..

The night before his phone didn't die. He called his EX at FOUR in the morning, drunk! I am still in shock he would think about her after 2 amazing years with me. He told me she was surprised he contacted her and she was asleep. But they ended up talking for about 2 hours. They catched up on eachothers lives, their family, and even my relationship with him. He told her everyhting about me. And that bothers me. He even told me they talked about a lot of their memories about being together, which bothers me the most! Obviously he misses her if he contacted her at 4am, after 2 years! THIS IS COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE. Because before this night, I was his dream girl and he would never do anything to hurt me, but now I don't know..He used to tell me how much he hated her and how she cheated on him, but now he can't even let her go as a friend. And the worst part is that she never moved on, she never found anyone else that she loved as much as him. And when we first started dating(probably a few months in)my ex kept texting me. And he got mad, so I told him I would stop talking to him because I cared about him more than my friendship with an ex. So I feel like he's a hypocrite for asking me to cut off my ex a year and a half ago before this even happened! I expected that he would respect me enough to do the same for me. I'm glad he told me everything about how he talked to her, but I'm devistrated that he would even talk to her in the first place. Now she wont stop texting him whenever I'm with him. And who knows if they are still talking on the phone at night! I feel like I'm sharing my boyfriend with another woman. He may not be physically cheating, but it's breaking me down inside. Am I overreacting? Please help me.

[rain.man]

Drunk dialing an ex isn't that serious, we've all done it at some point. If it is a one-time thing, there's nothing to worry about there. It doesn't mean he misses her, or still has feelings for her, or wants to be with her again. That said, he shouldn't continue to do so, and needs to ignore her texts (or, even better, ask her to stop).

A one-time call while drunk doesn't really make him a hypocrite, but it is another story if he continues to keep in touch with her. That said, it is interesting that him talking to an ex is breaking you up this much, considering you used to do the same with yours.

[Adamd9]

You are not overreacting, your definitely right.
you should speak with your boyfriend about that, tell him what you think about it, what its make you feel and your worry of the whole thing

Iam sure that he'll stop conect her, if not, you must take her out of his life
There is attraction to old familiar things in our life, i can understand why he is eager to speak with her, and to catched up.
It is NOT ok that he even contact her in the first place, it should ring a warning bell, you need to think if you can trust him, for that thing, or a familer things like that wont happen in the future.
It is you choice, dont forget it.

[MyTreasure]

I never talked to my ex. He used to text me while we first started dating. And It was simple "Hey, how are you." "Fine." kind of texts. And It was probably not more than 3 times. And it really bothered him, so I stopped for him. It's a whole other level to have a full on two hour conversation with your ex. AND, after that text for days on end. That's what really bothers me, and that's why I called him a hypocrite.

[xxazurexx]

The fact he called her, drunk or not, means he's thinking about her.

However, it may not be what you are thinking or fearing and could be innocent. He could just be curious about what she is up too now and to see if she is ok, etc...

I say this and because I had an ex contact me after a few year had gone by and he was married and he was happily married. All it had been was a catch up ya know. He said I'd been a huge part of his life at one time, he cared about me and always would and he'd wanted to know I was fine. He'd also said that he'd thought he'd seen me in a shopping centre and prior to his decision to contact me - so I figure that is what had jogged his memory back to me and to his wondering of how I was doing in life. Perhaps that is what happened in your bfs case....something made him think of her and set him off wondering how she is, etc. Now his curiosity is satisfied, that will be it.

You two seem to have a good and trusting relationship going and you've been together for 2 years. Would he jeopardise what he has with you and to go back to someone who cheated on him? If he has any sense, no he wouldn't.

Still, if you are not happy with him having done this and it would've upset me too, you need to have a word with him and tell him it makes you unhappy and to ensure it won't happen again.